Marcello Hernández poked fun at the whole sports world during his 2026 ESPYs monologue … and not even legends like Tiger Woods and Bill Belichick were safe.

The “Saturday Night Live” star/Wednesday night’s host took the stage at the David H. Koch Theater in New York City … and used the opportunity to throw silly zingers at Jake Paul, Jalen Brunson, the entire WNBA and more.

The biggest laughs of the 10-minute speech came at the expense of Tiger and Bill … with Hernández joking the golf superstar will be on the cover of the next “Grand Theft Auto” video game, a clear shot at his March DUI rollover crash and arrest.

Prior to that, Hernández cracked that when the Knicks last won the NBA Finals 53 years ago, Belichick was the age his girlfriend, Jordon Hudson is today (the math doesn’t add up, but it’s still funny).

As for Paul, Hernández made El Gallo chuckle when he mentioned his knack for fighting older guys … and Brunson got hit with the “nepo baby” narrative — but in a cool way.