Here’s TopGear.com’s roving correspondent, Cory Spondent, with his weekly, mostly incorrect exclusives from the world of motoring
An image of a Reliant Robin toppled over onto its side has been shortlisted to appear on future UK banknotes, according to sources.
Following the announcement that historical figures would be replaced by a selection of native British wildlife, the public have overwhelmingly requested the Robin – named after a bird – join the list.
It means one of the most poorly received and funniest moments in British automotive history will now go head-to-head with the likes of the Atlantic puffin, buff-tailed bumblebee and great spotted woodpecker to win the public’s affection and appear on British currency.
“Yes, we’re fully aware a Reliant Robin isn’t native British wildlife, even if anecdotally we understand it spent most of its time upside down in native British hedgerows,” a source close to the committee told TopGear.com.
“But it’s really quite simple: it’s called Robin. After the Robin bird. It’s small. Plucky. Breaks down often and regardless of its proficiency as a ‘car’, is unendingly cheery. Perfect fodder for a British banknote that, let’s be honest, won’t actually be worth that much in a few years’ time.
“Be honest, would you rather see a common frog or terrifying barn owl staring back at you as you pull out a £5 to pay for the last gallon of fuel before the world comes crushing to a halt? Or would you rather it be a toppled over fibreglass three-wheeler? Yeah, thought so.
“Forget the Bayeux Tapestry. The printed image of a Reliant Robin on its side, smoke pouring out of its engine bay, a trail of destruction in its wake and a stream of horrified onlookers holding their mouths on the front of a £10 note you’ll use to pay for half a pint is all the motivation this committee needs to push it through.
“And if you say ‘Notey McNoteface’ one more time, we’ll threaten to print a picture of a Morris Marina. Consider yourself warned,” the source added.