Well, it’s certainly something. Here’s how BMW has interpreted the grace of its neue Neue Klasse design language for the big dog of the range. For this be the brand-new BMW 7 Series, and… well, it’s certainly something.
Something… dare we say, interesting? This heavily updated 7er now boasts an entirely new front end dominated by that “reprofiled” kidney grille and ultra-slim headlights that give the limo a distinct air that it’s silently judging you.
It’s immeasurably cleaner and more cohesive than the outgoing 7, that’s for sure, and we suspect that out in the big scary real world, this thing will look immensely imposing. Looks really sweet out back, with slim lights reaching across the centre and – overall – a less fussy, much blockier vibe.
Powering all this bulk will be three fully-electric cars – that’ll be versions of the i7 – and a pair of plug-in hybrid ones – badged up as yer traditional 7 Series – launching in the UK. Now’s the time you need to take a deep breath while we whisk you into a frothy world of Numbers.
The i7 50 xDrive gets a twin-motor setup, a shade under 450bhp, 452 miles of range, a 0-62mph time of 5.5s and top speed of 130mph. Next up comes the i7 60 xDrive: 537bhp, also 452 miles, a 0-62mph time of 4.8s and top speed of 149mph. Finally, you’ve got the i7 M70 xDrive which is an M Performance car: a whopping 671bhp, mountains of torque, 426 miles of range, 0-62mph in 3.8s and a top speed of 155mph.
And breathe. There’s a new battery on board using BMW’s latest cells and updated (faster) charging tech – all Neue Klasse stuff of course – along with better motors and electronics, and adaptive brake regen that responds to the road. Clever stuff.
If you want a 7er with a proper 7er badge, your options are the 750e xDrive or 760e xDrive. Both get an updated version of BMW’s trusty – and brilliant – 3.0-litre straight six, here benefitting from a better turbo, and an e-motor and eight-speed gearbox. There’s a smaller 18.7kWh battery and the ability to travel up to 50 miles alone on e-power.
There’s also the ability to travel from 0-62mph in 4.8s via a 482bhp drivetrain in the 750e, dropping to 4.2s in the 604bhp 760e. This latter car even gets its own sportier exhaust tune.
Naturally there’s Level 2 assistance bundled into the mix, including hands-free driving at up to 81mph on the motorway, lots of BMW branded ‘assistants’, air suspension with adaptive dampers as standard, active steering, and the option of further chassis tech that reduces body roll (standard fit on the M Performance cars).
Inside it’s a world of pixels and leather and Amazon AI. And the not-so-small matter of an upgraded version of BMW’s immense ‘Theatre Screen’, um, screen. That’s the 31.1in, 8K optional whopper in the rear of the car that now doubles up as a video conferencing screen too, because there’s an integrated camera.
Up front, BMW has reworked the dash with a floating instrument panel and added a standard-fit 14.6in passenger screen – the first for a Bimmer. Naturally it gets Panoramic iDrive and BMW’s OS X.
There’s ambient lighting, the option of a Rolls-Royce-esque illuminated roof (only 40 LEDs here), a Bowers & Wilkins surround sound system, and lots of sound insulation like glazing, foam absorption and better sealing. And lots and lots of tech. Too bountiful to list here.
‘Veganza’ upholstery is also standard, but you can option in proper leather, and it goes without saying the material quality and selection here looks top notch – open-pore woods and Alcantara, for example. Add in comfort seats and soft-close doors, and you’ll likely get a better sense of what it feels like to sit inside a bank vault.
Speaking of banks, better get friendly with yours. Prices are likely to kick off from over £105k. Reckon the S-Class has got a tougher fight on its hands?