It happens to the best of us: You start crushing on someone (or enter a new relationship), and the pressure to impress them leads you to make an unexpected outfit decision or two—or several. Before you know it, your outfits look totally different from before this person entered your consciousness. Whether or not the romance works out, you may be wondering how you got here, plus how to balance this natural tendency with your personal taste.

Fashion has always had a psychological side. More often than not, our outfits are influenced by how we wish to be perceived. A job interview, for instance, might call for a look that reflects your most professional, put-together self, while meeting someone new may prompt clothing that guarantees a good first impression. This theory extends to our romantic lives, as it’s natural for our style to adapt to a new crush or a budding relationship. Below, we dive into how love and attraction influence what we wear, complete with insights from stylists and a fashion psychologist.

Dressing to Impress

As someone who has dabbled in the dating world as an adult, I’d be lying if I said my wardrobe didn’t subtly shift when a crush entered the picture. I’m not going to hide underneath layers upon layers of clothing when I’m attracted to someone: If anything, my style becomes a bit more revealing. As fashion psychologist Jennifer Heinen puts it, we dress around seduction, or sex appeal, if you will. 

What you wear on a date often comes down to perception—specifically, how you want to be seen. “Do you want the person to desire your brain? Do you want the person to desire your body?” Heinen suggests pondering. “This is always going to reflect back onto what you’re wearing.” Stylist Samantha Dawn seconds this notion, encouraging her clients to stay authentic rather than performative: “That way, they’re attracting the right people, the right opportunities, and the right relationships.” 

In a similar vein, your style may change depending on whether you’re dating casually or with long-term intentions. When it comes to the former, Heinen says there is often a physical component. “You might be dating to have sex, and therefore dressing less for who you are and more for what you will get from it,” the expert notes. Date night outfits often lean in the seductive, revealing direction for a reason, after all.

Alternatively, when pursuing something more serious, you might strive to look a bit more polished rather than overtly provocative. Anyone who’s ever found themselves overthinking their ensemble for an early date with someone who looks incredible on paper—or for meeting your SO’s parents—knows this well.

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The Couples Effect

According to Heinen, the connection between style and psychology runs deep. “Our personality is shaped by the five closest people we have in our lives, and oftentimes a romantic partner, after a while, falls into that,” she shares.

As such, Heinen notes how you’ll inevitably change in various ways as a relationship progresses, some of which may involve your wardrobe. Over time, for instance, you might find yourself leaning into the same fabrics or silhouettes as your partner. This manifests most obviously via matching moments (think Timothée Chalamet and Kylie Jenner in orange at the Marty Supreme premiere, or Tom Holland and Zendaya leaving a dinner date in coordinating burgundy), but can also happen more aesthetically. Kourtney Kardashian Barker, for instance, has embraced a more grunge-inspired aesthetic over the course of her relationship with husband Travis Barker. Some have dubbed it “rockstar girlfriend” style, but no matter what you call it, she’s been reveling in the rush of inspiration that so often comes with romance.

Yearning Fashion in Pop Culture

Some of pop culture’s most iconic romantic leads have decidedly influenced how the masses dress. For example, on Sex and the City, Carrie Bradshaw slips into a naked dress for her first date with Big—a silhouette that has long been synonymous with sex appeal. The iconic character’s style across the entire series has become an eternal source of inspiration for many real-life New Yorkers, and it’s no wonder why: She knows just how to adapt to the date at hand while staying true to her signature aesthetic (no shortage of joyfully impractical footwear here).

Meanwhile, more recently, in The Summer I Turned Pretty, Isabel “Belly” Conklin goes from wearing oversized sweatshirts and denim cutoffs at the beginning of the show to romantic, flowy dresses as her love triangle with brothers Conrad and Jeremiah Fisher unfolds. Later in the series, her style evolves again when she gets a “breakup bob” and adopts a more Parisian sensibility—and these elements of self-discovery simultaneously lead her to her next romantic era.

These looks can serve as a mood board, guiding viewers in how they approach their own dating style. On the other hand, stylist JenniLee believes that yearning fashion in entertainment can sometimes be detrimental to the masses, as it can send a message that you always need to reinvent yourself for the sake of trying to land someone else.

Where to Draw the Line

There’s nothing inherently wrong with adjusting your style for a crush or new relationship. Still, Lee cautions against teetering into costume territory, as you don’t want to abandon your individual tastes entirely. Heinen recommends a simple gut check: Would you still wear the look if you already felt fully loved and secure? “If the answer is no, then it might be a costume,” she explains. “If you’re already feeling safe and chosen, you don’t have to prove your worth.” Likewise, Dawn encourages her clients not to dress for the approval of others, but to express themselves, “because at the end of the day, you want somebody who wants you.”

Heinen also encourages thinking about who your outfits are attracting in the first place: “Are you dressing in a way that reflects who you are now—or a version of yourself you’ve already outgrown?” Questions like these are worth periodically revisiting to ensure you’re prioritizing your sense of self, both within your outfits and in general. 

Staying true to yourself when dating is key. Heinen jokes that a past relationship ended over a coat (well, sort of). “He made a lot of remarks throughout the years regarding what I wore,” she recalls. After falling in love with a jacket one day, she had thoughts rushing through her head about what he might say about it if he were at the store with her, prompting her to feel uneasy. As a result, she decided to finally break things off—and returned the next day for the coat.

How to Dress for Yourself While Dating

Don’t forget to think about your relationship with yourself amid the dating cycle. If you’re having insecurities, Lee suggests journaling how you want to feel before trying on clothes. When it does come time to assemble a date look, she says to crank up the music and try on pieces that make you feel sexy and empowered, without thinking about the other person. “Hone in on what’s clicking for you,” she recommends. “Then, out of the two or three top contenders, think about which serves the best purchase purpose for where you’re going.” She says to think of it as a mini date with yourself before the actual meet-up. 

And instead of committing to new silhouettes, consider testing the waters with a clothing rental service, which is an accessible—and earth-friendly—way to explore your style. “It might be a little worn in, which lends to the idea that you’ve had the piece for a while,” Lee says about renting, borrowing, or shopping secondhand. In other words, it reads effortless rather than try-hard: “You’re still wearing something sexy or edgy, but it looks lived-in.” Best of all, there’s no buyer’s remorse if sparks didn’t fly.