{"id":929484,"date":"2023-09-28T12:00:00","date_gmt":"2023-09-28T09:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/analyse.optim.biz\/?p=929484"},"modified":"2023-09-28T12:00:00","modified_gmt":"2023-09-28T09:00:00","slug":"on-recognizing-my-thin-privilege-when-ive-never-been-thin","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/analyse.optim.biz\/?p=929484","title":{"rendered":"On Recognizing My Thin Privilege When I\u2019ve Never Been Thin"},"content":{"rendered":"
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LEARNING CURVE<\/span><\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n

On Recognizing My Thin Privilege When I\u2019ve Never Been Thin<\/h1>\n<\/div>\n
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Regardless of the body-shaming we’ve been through, it\u2019s time for mid-size and small-fat people to accept that we might not be doing enough to liberate people bigger than us.<\/div>\n
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By <\/span>Nicola Dall’Asen<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/div>\n

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Illustration by Johanne Licard<\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/figure>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/header>\n<\/div>\n
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Welcome back to the<\/em>\u00a0Learning Curve<\/em>, a monthly column where we unpack the complicated experience of accepting your own body in a world that doesn’t seem to want you to. This month, Nicola examines the small-fat and mid-size communities’ inability to address their own thin privilege \u2014 and checks her own privilege in the process.<\/em><\/p>\n

One time, I almost irreversibly ruined the vibe during a beach getaway with my closest friends after the topic of shopping came up. A girlfriend of mine lamented about how hard it can be to find jeans that fit because of her smaller waist and bigger butt. She\u2019s thin. My other girlfriend who was in this conversation is thin. I was the only person on this trip above a size small. And that one offhand remark was all it took for me to see red.<\/p>\n

\u201cBut have you ever walked into a store and been too big to even try on a pair of jeans?\u201d I asked, so obviously bitter. She said, \u201cNo, but\u2026\u201d I didn\u2019t let her finish. I repeated the question until she bowed out with a final, dejected, \u201cNo,\u201d and we all silently agreed it was time to change the subject.<\/p>\n

Six years later, I think about that conversation often and wince at myself, not for calling out that friend out for what I still think were rather tone-deaf complaints to make to a plus-size person but for the way I lashed out because I wasn\u2019t able to calmly verbalize what truly upset me: her failure to recognize and be grateful for her thin privilege.<\/p>\n

Anyone who is bigger than most of their friends knows these types of complaints well; sometimes, we are automatically designated \u201csafe\u201d people to whom one can voice shame about their own body. We hear complaints of \u201cfeeling fat\u201d or not having anything to wear or having to stick to specific diet and fitness regimens to stay in shape. Fewer things set me off quicker than hearing these things from the mouth of someone who hasn\u2019t lived any part of their life over a size 8.<\/p>\n

But here\u2019s the thing: I\u2019m a hypocrite.<\/p>\n

If you\u2019ve read this column before, you already know I\u2019ve fluctuated between sizes 12 and 16 my entire adult life. I\u2019m much taller than the average woman, and I usually weigh anywhere between 200 and 215 pounds. I was a chubby kid, too, one whose weight was of constant discussion in my household. I\u2019m no stranger to being publicly body-shamed or being excluded from clothing retailers or developing complicated relationships with food and fitness. I\u2019ve made a career, in part, from making content in which I try to heal from that and help others do the same.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n

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But in the past, I\u2019ve also called clothing brands that only serve up to size 3X \u201cinclusive\u201d in conversation with people who wear a 4X and above. I\u2019ve ranted endlessly to the same people about society\u2019s lack of plus-size representation when I can name plenty of well-known models and actors my size. I\u2019ve recalled being teased about my weight in childhood to the face of a friend who still gets harassed in the street with strangers tossing terms like \u201cheifer\u201d at her as an adult. No such thing has ever happened to me.<\/p>\n