{"id":929453,"date":"2023-11-30T14:00:00","date_gmt":"2023-11-30T11:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/analyse.optim.biz\/?p=929453"},"modified":"2023-11-30T14:00:00","modified_gmt":"2023-11-30T11:00:00","slug":"on-learning-to-think-of-my-body-as-a-whole-not-parts","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/analyse.optim.biz\/?p=929453","title":{"rendered":"On Learning to Think of My Body As a Whole, Not Parts"},"content":{"rendered":"
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LEARNING CURVE<\/span><\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n

On Learning to Think of My Body As a Whole, Not Parts<\/h1>\n<\/div>\n
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Why do I dice myself up into pieces for self-criticism? I\u2019ll tell you exactly why.<\/div>\n
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By <\/span>Chloe Laws<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/div>\n

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Illustration by Ana Jar\u00e9n<\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/figure>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/header>\n<\/div>\n
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Welcome back to the<\/em>\u00a0Learning Curve, a monthly column in which we unpack the complicated experience of accepting your own body in a world that doesn’t seem to want you to. This month, guest columnist Chloe Laws examines her habit of seeing her own body as parts to be criticized, rather than a whole to be appreciated.<\/em><\/p>\n

On a recent resort vacation in Greece, I lay by the infinity pool watching as couples kissed in the water, kids jumped into inflatable unicorns, and a group of loud men drank pint after pint at the bar. While I sat idly, I relished the beauty of all the different bodies surrounding me and how objectively interesting they were.<\/p>\n

A tall, slim man in his 80s had tan, loose skin that hung from his arms like silk. A woman\u2019s cellulite made patterns like marble in the tattoo that stretched from her back down to her thighs. There were people with rock-hard bellies above tight trunks and others whose ribs poked out as they lay atop towels. There were dimpled bums shaking off the sand, hairy toes, and fully waxed torsos.<\/p>\n

I thought about how I can always find something beautiful in a stranger to compliment and admire, but when looking at my own body in the mirror, that often feels like an impossible task. A compliment made to myself is quickly followed by a caveat: My boobs are pert, but look, there\u2019s a stray black hair on my nipple. I like my legs and my muscly calves, but then my eyes shift to my stretch-marked stomach and I forget that temporary satisfaction. My feet are too small, my upper arms are too soft, my bum is too dimpled.<\/p>\n

I\u2019ll look again, searching for positives: My back is smooth, my eyes are a vibrant green, my hair is thick. Ah, but my elbow is stained red with psoriasis. My highlights are growing out. My jawline is weak. This cycle persists no matter how hard I try to break it.<\/p>\n