{"id":926215,"date":"2024-05-16T13:00:00","date_gmt":"2024-05-16T10:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/analyse.optim.biz\/?p=926215"},"modified":"2024-05-16T13:00:00","modified_gmt":"2024-05-16T10:00:00","slug":"was-fatphobia-the-only-reason-i-ever-wanted-to-have-long-nails","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/analyse.optim.biz\/?p=926215","title":{"rendered":"Was Fatphobia the Only Reason I Ever Wanted to Have Long Nails?"},"content":{"rendered":"
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LEARNING CURVE<\/span><\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n

Was Fatphobia the Only Reason I Ever Wanted to Have Long Nails?<\/h1>\n<\/div>\n
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I’ve been putting my natural nails through hell for long nail extensions\u2014all for my fear of having \u201cfat\u201d hands.<\/div>\n
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By <\/span>Nicola Dall’Asen<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/div>\n

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Illustration by Ana Jare\u0301n<\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/figure>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/header>\n<\/div>\n
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Welcome back to<\/em>\u00a0Learning Curve, a monthly column where we unpack the complicated experience of accepting your own body in a world that doesn’t seem to want you to. This month, Nicola realizes that her love-hate relationship with extra-long nail extensions was sneakily caused by internalized fat shame all along.<\/em><\/p>\n

Every time I sit across from a nail technician, I blurt out explanations for my stubborn, chewed-up cuticles, my short and brittle nails, and my dried-out skin that\u2019s usually speckled with bruises, burns, or cuts I don\u2019t remember acquiring. The shame I feel in those moments is exactly what draws me back every time; I\u2019ll swallow the embarrassment for a fresh set of long, ovular nail extensions I\u2019m actually proud to show off for a bit until I\u2019m back to short, damaged nails.<\/p>\n

In my profession, there\u2019s an unspoken expectation to be perpetually manicured in the most literal sense. After 15ish years of getting manicures, I\u2019ve started to realize that under all those fixable nail care problems lies a much bigger insecurity causing said embarrassment at the salon and beyond: my hands themselves.<\/p>\n

Unlike other parts of my body about which I\u2019ve been insecure, people have never insulted my hands to my face, but \u201cman hands\u201d has always been the first descriptor that\u2019s come to my mind. My hands dwarf those of most women\u2019s and sometimes even those of men my size. My palms, broad and rectangular, are proportionally bigger and my fingers are proportionally shorter than I always thought they should be. And speaking of my fingers, they\u2019re meaty, and they have the knuckle joints to match. I\u2019ve always loved rings but shopping for them was a sore subject until my mid-20s when I started buying custom-sized unisex rings that actually fit. I\u2019m proud of the collection I\u2019ve amassed, but I don\u2019t dare wear them if my nails aren\u2019t long, lest I draw unwanted attention to my hands in a less-than-perfect state.<\/p>\n

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\"woman's<\/span><\/div>\n
Nicola Dall’Asen<\/span><\/div>\n<\/figure>\n
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\"woman's<\/span><\/div>\n
Nicola Dall’Asen<\/span><\/div>\n<\/figure>\n<\/div>\n

What is<\/em> a perfect state? Well, I love the look of oval- or almond-shaped tips that extend at least a few millimeters past my fingertips. And I will put my nails, wallet, and schedule through absolute hell in order to have nails like that because, as a lifelong stress biter and picker, I\u2019ve never been able to grow my natural nails that long. Because professionally-applied nail extensions are expensive, I learned how to apply soft-gel nail extensions at home, for which I\u2019ve acquired a ton of supplies that take up ample precious storage space in my tiny New York City apartment (hell, I even wrote our Apr\u00e9s Gel X review).<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n

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But here\u2019s the thing: I kind of loathe having long nails? They make it hard to complete basic tasks like typing and buttoning pants, I can feel<\/em> the dirt collecting underneath them where I can\u2019t reach, and as soon as there\u2019s a little visible nail growth at the cuticle, I think they\u2019re ugly all over again. Nine times out of 10 I\u2019ll be gnawing at them after the first week, desperate to pop them off so I can be free again. And they will<\/em> pop off, leaving my natural nails underneath torn and even weaker than they had been. Then I\u2019ll feel even more insecure about my hands, and I\u2019ll put on another set of nail extensions to hide my shame, then I\u2019ll remove them improperly out of impatience again, and the vicious cycle will start over.<\/p>\n