{"id":922988,"date":"2017-12-20T12:00:00","date_gmt":"2017-12-20T09:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/analyse.optim.biz\/?p=922988"},"modified":"2017-12-20T12:00:00","modified_gmt":"2017-12-20T09:00:00","slug":"a-sad-girls-guide-to-getting-through-the-holidays","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/analyse.optim.biz\/?p=922988","title":{"rendered":"A Sad Girl\u2019s Guide to Getting Through the Holidays"},"content":{"rendered":"
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Living<\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n

A Sad Girl\u2019s Guide to Getting Through the Holidays<\/h1>\n<\/div>\n
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By <\/span>Martine Thompson<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/div>\n

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Photo: Courtesy of Darcie Wilder<\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/figure>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/header>\n<\/div>\n
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It\u2019s no secret that along with snow and ice, the holidays usher in uncomfortable emotional terrain. The season triggers memories, expectations, and experiences that can be a struggle to navigate, particularly for those facing depression or anxiety. There\u2019s expected attendance at family get-togethers during which compassion for mental illness may be nowhere to be found, the social media deluge of merriness that seems to require a significant other or companions you may not have, and innocent chitchat at parties that can quickly devolve into an exhausting performance of hiding personal obstacles. The root of the resulting gloom can be difficult to pinpoint and even harder to explain, whether it\u2019s mental, emotional, or financial. What is<\/em> crystal clear is that a personal commitment to do things on your own terms can help restore equilibrium during the flurry of the holiday season.<\/p>\n

Here, three of the Internet\u2019s beloved \u201csad girls\u201d\u2014those who have unabashedly shared their antisocial, introspective, and gloomy feelings online\u2014weigh in on navigating year-round blues around the holidays.<\/p>\n

Skip as Many Holiday Festivities as You Want<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u201cSkipping holidays is key for some people, and it has probably saved my ass at some point in the past,\u201d says Darcie Wilder, author of literally show me a healthy person.<\/em> \u201cI think no matter if you attend anything, it\u2019s about having enough of a support system via other people or yourself. Taking care of yourself looks different for everyone, and can involve being challenged in ways that force you to grow healthier habits.\u201d<\/p>\n

Sometimes opting out doesn\u2019t mean skipping an event. The holidays can prompt \u201ca lot of pressure to show your love or worth to people in material ways or otherwise, and a lot of the time we simply don\u2019t have the money or emotional capacity to do so, which can make one feel incredibly guilty\u2014though it shouldn\u2019t,\u201d says Esther Fan, cofounder of the erstwhile online art collective Sad Asian Girls. \u201cBe honest and transparent with your loved ones about your capabilities. They will, or should, understand.\u201d<\/p>\n

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Photo: Courtesy of Esther Fan<\/span><\/div>\n<\/figure>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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Create Your Own Kind of Getaway<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u201cBoth of my suicide attempts have happened during the holiday season,\u201d shares Elyse Fox, mental health activist and founder of Sad Girls Club. \u201cOnce I begin hearing Christmas jingles and see the city slowly transform to a scene from How the Grinch Stole Christmas<\/em>, I become anxious. What has worked for me is acknowledging that the holiday season is inevitable and preparing a \u2018trigger getaway plan\u2019 for myself. I create a list of self-care rituals I can do at anytime and a playlist of feel-good songs to play while en route to visit family or to play when I\u2019m feeling anxious.\u201d<\/p>\n

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Photo: Courtesy of Elyse Fox<\/span><\/div>\n<\/figure>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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\u201cReturning home is incredibly triggering and anxiety inducing and it\u2019s easy for me to become suffocated in all of that, as I have limited privacy and time alone there,\u201d says Fan. \u201cAdd a language barrier between myself and my parents along with queer-antagonism, organized religion, and other personal traumas, and I\u2019m ready to implode within the first hour of being home; being able to understand my parents\u2019 words but being unable to respond with a rebuttal is really torturous. I typically keep my phone with me at all times for easy access to social media in order to reach out to friends or strangers in similar situations, or just for vent-tweeting into the void.\u201d<\/p>\n

Another way to decompress, Wilder shares, is through relaxing beauty activities, like sheet masks. \u201cI think they are so helpful because they\u2019re a tactical, sensual experience that puts me in my body, and it\u2019s also an activity to do with family\u2014you can take cute holiday sheet mask selfies. I used to try to disappear into my phone as much as possible, but that wasn\u2019t the best for my mental health and made more strife when my family would feel hurt that I was ignoring them in favor of strangers on the Internet. But any form of recharging, even just zoning out and feeling alone in a crowded room, can be therapeutic.\u201d<\/p>\n

Treat Yourself to Simple Pleasures<\/strong><\/p>\n

If you\u2019re a health-conscious diner who appreciates clean eating, similar to Fox, letting loose with greasy and chocolaty foods during the holiday season can be the perfect treat. For Wilder, listening to experimental pop group PC Music, hanging out with her dog, and using special fragrances to brighten her mood has proven effective. \u201cI think I need as much of a reminder that it\u2019s okay to be happy, to not stew in the sludge of emotion, as it is to feel the debilitating feelings,\u201d she says. If material things don\u2019t provide much of a mood-booster, take a page from Fan. \u201cI\u2019m selective about who I spend my time with, and it\u2019s important that they aren\u2019t people who leave me feeling more drained than before seeing them. Dragging myself out and inevitably spending a little money while with people I have love for is how I treat myself.\u201d<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n

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Photo: Courtesy of Darcie Wilder<\/span><\/div>\n<\/figure>\n

Indulge in Binge-Watching<\/strong><\/p>\n

Is it really the holiday season if you haven\u2019t binge-watched a series in your pj\u2019s? If you\u2019re looking for a show that mirrors your blues, Fox recommends BoJack Horseman.<\/em> \u201cThere\u2019s something about that drunk, depressed horse that\u2019s relatable. The writers do a great job of shining a light on depression while keeping the show bouncy and funny,\u201d she says. On the other hand, something serving up nostalgia and familiarity with less dour vibes works best for Fan these days. \u201cI tend to rewatch a lot of TV series,\u201d she says. Her latest picks? \u201cI\u2019m a little ashamed to say, the most recent shows I\u2019ve done this with are It\u2019s Always Sunny in Philadelphia<\/em> and That \u201970s Show.<\/em>\u201d And, of course, laughter is the best remedy. \u201cMy favorites have enough of a balance to be watched casually or like white noise when you need to veg, or absorb you into their world if you want to get really into them,\u201d Wilder says. \u201cObviously, The Office, Community, Parks and Recreation, Arrested Development.<\/em> But my uncle keeps putting on Sanford and Son<\/em>, which I think is a weird choice.\u201d<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n

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Get Into the Giving Spirit<\/strong><\/p>\n

Fox has found that helping others with their problems is an antidote to feeling sad, over the holidays and in general. \u201cI\u2019ve become a \u2018depression coach\u2019 for a lot of friends and strangers online,\u201d she explains. \u201cThrough my Instagram @SadGirlsClub, I have the ability to help thousands of girls with their problems, and it always makes my day a bit brighter.\u201d<\/p>\n

Wilder agrees that simply doing something kind for another person can help bring genuine cheer into your life. \u201cI think the only thing that ever really makes me feel good is helping someone else, whatever form that is. Sometimes it\u2019s just sharing my feelings online, or making jokes out of something incredibly traumatizing or sad,\u201d she says. For Fan, it\u2019s all about finding comfort in the community she has created: \u201cI\u2019ve narrowed down my social circle\u2014both on- and offline\u2014over time to majority QTPoC [queer and trans people of color], and so when I do have the energy to leave my apartment, I\u2019ll know that I\u2019ll at least be heading toward another safe environment.\u201d<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/article>\n

Source URL: https:\/\/www.vogue.com\/article\/holiday-sad-girls-guide<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Living A Sad Girl\u2019s Guide to Getting Through the Holidays By Martine Thompson December 20, 2017 Photo: Courtesy of Darcie Wilder It\u2019s no secret that along with snow and ice, the holidays usher in uncomfortable emotional terrain. The season triggers memories, expectations, and experiences that can be a struggle to navigate, particularly for those facing […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":922989,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[2],"tags":[50],"class_list":["post-922988","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-politics","tag-vogue-com"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/analyse.optim.biz\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/922988","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/analyse.optim.biz\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/analyse.optim.biz\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/analyse.optim.biz\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/analyse.optim.biz\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=922988"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/analyse.optim.biz\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/922988\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/analyse.optim.biz\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/922989"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/analyse.optim.biz\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=922988"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/analyse.optim.biz\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=922988"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/analyse.optim.biz\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=922988"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}