{"id":2208906,"date":"2026-10-20T04:50:53","date_gmt":"2026-10-20T01:50:53","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/analyse.optim.biz\/?p=2208906"},"modified":"2026-10-20T04:50:53","modified_gmt":"2026-10-20T01:50:53","slug":"cockteilcu-amor-umor-si-poezie-fuste-2","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/analyse.optim.biz\/?p=2208906","title":{"rendered":"Cockteil\u2026cu amor, umor \u0219i poezie. Fuste (2)"},"content":{"rendered":"

[analyse_image type=”featured” src=”https:\/\/vol.monitorulsv.ro\/articole\/2026\/10\/19\/7275a1a2-a04d-41ee-82f9-91812482d9eb-vgfow1920h2641.jpg”]<\/p>\n

\n
\n

Fust\u0103.<\/strong> \u201dM-am g\u00e2ndit la Dumneavoastr\u0103 \u015fi la tot ce ar fi putut s\u0103 se \u00eent\u00e2mple \u00een noaptea de joi\u2026 dac\u0103 nu v-a\u0163i fi \u00eempotrivit. Mai bine de o or\u0103 \u00een mintea mea s-au derulat scenele noastre cele mai intime, cu o asemenea precizie \u00eenc\u00e2t a trebuit s\u0103 m\u0103 scol ca s\u0103 nu-mi pierd min\u0163ile. Am \u00een\u0163eles dependen\u0163a mea senzual\u0103 de Dumneavoastr\u0103 \u00een toat\u0103 claritatea ei abia dup\u0103 ce v-am m\u0103rturisit la telefon c\u0103 a\u015f vrea s\u0103-mi \u00eengrop capul pentru totdeauna sub fusta Dumneavoastr\u0103. Ce mortale pot fi anumite lucruri. A\u0163i fost oarecum speriat\u0103 c\u00e2nd v-am vorbit de o \u00eenclina\u0163ie \u201epervers\u0103\u201d pe care mi-o st\u00e2rne\u015fte trupul Dumneavoastr\u0103.\u201d (Emil Cioran \u00een Pentru nimic \u00een lume, scrisoare lui Friedgard Thoma, 2005).<\/em><\/p>\n

Reorientare<\/strong> (conjugal\u0103). Maria se hot\u0103r\u0103\u0219te \u2013 dup\u0103 lungi ezit\u0103ri \u2013 s\u0103-i spun\u0103 lui Ion c\u0103 ea vrea s\u0103 divor\u021beze. Vine Ion acas\u0103. Maria: \u2013 Ioane, am o veste proast\u0103 s\u0103-\u021bi spun. Ion: \u2013 Iar eu am o veste bun\u0103. Maria: \u2013 Atunci, spune tu primul. Ion: \u2013 Am c\u00e2\u0219tigat la Loto o gr\u0103mad\u0103 de bani\u201d Maria: \u2013 Am ars c\u00e2rna\u021bii\u2026<\/p>\n

Femeile de alt\u0103dat\u0103.<\/strong> \u201dLuptau cu lunga fust\u0103 \u00eenaltele lor tocuri,\/A\u015fa c\u0103, dup\u0103 locuri \u015fi v\u00e2nt, din c\u00e2nd \u00een c\u00e2nd,\/Vedeam \u00eentotdeauna piciorul lumin\u00e2nd\/\u015ei c\u00e2t iubeam aceste-n\u015fel\u0103toare jocuri!\u201d (Paul Verlaine)<\/em>.<\/p>\n

Detalii.<\/strong> Un so\u021b sun\u0103 la biroul \u0219erifului pentru a raporta dispari\u021bia so\u021biei. \u2013 So\u021bia mea este a fost la cump\u0103r\u0103turi ieri \u0219i nu s-a mai \u00eentors acas\u0103! \u2013 \u00cen\u0103l\u021bimea? \u2013 Nu sunt sigur. Pu\u021bin peste un metru \u0219i jum\u0103tate. \u2013 Greutatea? P\u0103iii\u2026 nu e slab\u0103, dar nici chiar gras\u0103. \u2013 Culoarea ochilor? \u2013 Un fel de c\u0103prui, cred. \u2013 Culoarea p\u0103rului? \u2013 Se schimb\u0103 de c\u00e2teva ori pe an. Cred c\u0103 acum e ro\u0219u \u00eenchis. \u2013 Ce purta? \u2013 Probabil pantaloni, sau poate o fust\u0103? Nu-mi amintesc exact. \u2013 Cu ce fel de ma\u0219in\u0103 a plecat ? \u2013 Cu camioneta mea. \u2013 Ce fel de camionet\u0103 era? \u2013 Un Ram Limited 4X4 alb perlat din 2016 cu motor V8 de 6,4 litri, comandat cu op\u021biunea de bar\u0103 \u0219i frigider Ram Box, iluminare LED, camer\u0103 video pentru mar\u0219arier \u0219i fa\u021b\u0103, scaune \u00eenc\u0103lzite din piele, aer condi\u021bionat cu control climatic. Are o hus\u0103 personalizat\u0103 alb\u0103 asortat\u0103 pentru ben\u0103, covora\u0219e Weather Tech. Pachet de remorcare cu c\u00e2rlig auriu, trap\u0103, DVD cu naviga\u021bie GPS complet\u0103, radio prin satelit cu 40 de canale, \u0219ase suporturi pentru pahare, 3 porturi USB \u0219i 4 prize. I-am ad\u0103ugat jante speciale din aliaj \u0219i anvelope Toyota off-road. Are \u0219i sc\u0103ri retractabile personalizate. \u0218eriful: \u2013 Stai lini\u0219tit, domnule, sigur v\u0103 vom g\u0103si camioneta!<\/p>\n

De ce dai voie v\u00e2ntului?<\/strong> \u201dDe ce dai voie v\u00e2ntului s\u0103 umble\/Prin p\u0103rul t\u0103u \u015fi s\u0103 \u0163i-l r\u0103v\u0103\u015feasc\u0103?\/E m\u00e2ng\u00e2ierea lui, f\u0103cut\u0103-n tumbe,\/Mai cald\u0103, mai suav\u0103, mai cereasc\u0103?\/Sunt degetele lui f\u00e2lf\u00e2itoare\/Mai me\u015ftere \u00een joc, mai f\u0103r\u0103 num\u0103r\/C\u00e2nd te cuprind din cap p\u00e2n\u0103-n picioare,\/C\u00e2nd \u00ee\u0163i dau jos buchetul de pe um\u0103r?\/De ce la\u015fi v\u00e2ntul ca s\u0103-\u015fi pun\u0103 palma\/Oriunde vrea \u015fi, -ncol\u0103cindu-\u0163i s\u00e2nul,\/Prin fustele sub\u0163iri ce zbor de-a valma,\/S\u0103 te priveasc\u0103 cu-ochi bl\u00e2nzi, b\u0103tr\u00e2nul?\/De ce, c\u00e2nd te p\u00e2nde\u015fte-ascuns prin iarb\u0103\/\u015ei vrea s\u0103-\u0163i s\u0103rute gura-n voie,\/- \u00cen timp ce eu t\u00e2njesc cu pl\u00e2nsu-n barb\u0103 \u2013\/Pe el \u00eel la\u015fi\u2026 iar mie, nu-mi dai voie\u2026\u201d (Radu Stanca)<\/em><\/p>\n

Apus.<\/strong> \u201d Doamnei de odinioar\u0103,\/Care-o f\u0103cea pe augusta,\/Numai v\u00e2ntul, \u00eentr-o doar\u0103,\/Dac\u0103-i mai ridic\u0103 fusta!\u201d (Anda Andrie\u015f)<\/em><\/p>\n

Milostivenie.<\/strong> \u201eAfl\u00e2nd c\u0103 \u00eenvinuitele de curvie m\u0103rturisit\u0103 au fost \u00eenchise \u00een beciurile Mitropoliei de la Sf\u00e2ntul Gheorghe, unde erau \u0163inute \u201dde mureau de foame, \u00een \u00eentuneric, r\u0103m\u00e2n\u00e2nd ca vai de ele, goale, f\u0103r\u0103 m\u0103car o fust\u0103 pe ele\u201d, Doamnei Catrina, so\u0163ia Mavrocordatului, i se \u00eenmuie inima de mil\u0103 \u015fi se hot\u0103r\u00ee s\u0103 fac\u0103 ceva pentru bietele femei lovite de crunta reform\u0103 \u201dmoraviceasc\u0103\u201d a lui Vod\u0103. \u00ce\u015fi lu\u0103 o interpret\u0103, c\u0103ci nu se deprinsese prea bine cu limba \u0163\u0103rii, \u015fi cobor\u00ee, cu voia so\u0163ului, \u00een \u00eentunecatele beciuri de la Mitropolie. Ceea ce v\u0103zu o \u00eengrozi. Nu se poate a\u015fa ceva, \u00ee\u015fi zise, dup\u0103 ce z\u0103bovi acolo c\u00e2teva ceasuri bune, st\u00e2nd de vorb\u0103 cu bietele femei. Le-a \u00eencurajat c\u00e2t a putut, \u201dtrimi\u0163\u00e2ndu-le apoi p\u00e2ine \u015fi lumin\u0103, ca s\u0103 nu \u015fad\u0103 pe \u00eentuneric, \u015fi c\u00e2te un caier-dou\u0103 de in, ca s\u0103 nu stea degeaba\u201d. Dar nu-i de-ajuns, \u00ee\u015fi mai spuse miloasa Doamn\u0103. Dup\u0103 ce ob\u0163inu \u00eencuviin\u0163area domnitorului, d\u0103du sfoar\u0103 prin \u0163ar\u0103 cum c\u0103 oricare din acele femei nenorocite, \u00eenchise din vina lor \u00een beciurile Mitropoliei, va fi slobozit\u0103 dac\u0103 se va g\u0103si un suflet bun de b\u0103rbat care s\u0103 le cear\u0103 de nevast\u0103. Pretenden\u0163i s-au g\u0103sit \u00eendat\u0103. Mai ales c\u0103 Doamna Catrina nu a omis s\u0103 specifice \u00een depe\u015fele trimise \u00eenspre toate col\u0163urile Moldovei c\u0103 fiecare mireas\u0103 ie\u015fit\u0103 din beciurile de la Sf\u00e2ntul Gheorghe va primi, ca zestre, pe seama vistieriei domne\u015fti, ve\u0219minte, c\u00e2te o pung\u0103 cu zece galbeni, o vac\u0103 cu vi\u0163el, cinci oi gata a f\u0103ta \u015fi c\u00e2te zece g\u0103ini ou\u0103toare cu coco\u015ful de trebuin\u0163\u0103\u2026 A\u015fadar, reformele lui Nicolae Mavrocordat s-au soldat cu rezultatele scontate. O vreme, se scrie \u00een cronici, nu a mai fost vorba, cic\u0103, de popi be\u0163ivi \u015fi fustangii \u015fi nici de femei \u00eenvinuite de curvie m\u0103rturisit\u0103. C\u00e2t\u0103 vreme anume nu se spune. Cronicarii au t\u0103cut m\u00e2lc din acest punct de vedere.\u201d (Grigore Toloac\u0103). <\/em><\/p>\n

Motto.<\/strong> (Comercial). Vorba bunicului: \u201dTot ce are s\u00e2ni sau ro\u021bi\/ \u00ce\u021bi m\u0103n\u0103nc\u0103 banii, to\u021bi!\u201d.<\/p>\n

Net. <\/strong> \u00cen carantin\u0103: \u2013 Mam\u0103, ce are de merge netu\u2019 a\u0219a greu? \u2013 Ori tac-tu descarc\u0103 filme porno, ori sor-ta \u00eencarc\u0103!<\/p>\n

Educa\u021bie<\/strong> (sexual\u0103). \u00cen timpul unui consiliu profesoral, directorul liceului \u00eentreab\u0103: \u2013 Cum merge noul nostru curs de educa\u0163ie sexual\u0103? \u2013 Merge perfect! Elevii particip\u0103 cu at\u00e2t entuziasm, \u00eenc\u00e2t, p\u00e2n\u0103 la finele anului \u015fcolar va trebui s\u0103 deschidem, de urgen\u0163\u0103, o cre\u015f\u0103!<\/p>\n

Ziar.<\/strong> B\u0103rbatul este asemenea unui ziar: \u2013 De la 20 la 30 de ani este cotidian. \u2013 De la 30 la 40 de ani este s\u0103pt\u0103m\u00e2nal. \u2013 De la 40 la 50 este bilunar. \u2013 De la 50 la 60 este lunar. \u2013 De la 60 la 70 de ani apare doar \u00een edi\u021bie special\u0103.<\/p>\n

\u00censurat.<\/strong> Iarn\u0103\u2026viscol\u2026Un tip zgribulit, tremur\u00e2nd de frig, intr\u0103 \u00eentr-o brut\u0103rie. V\u00e2nz\u0103torul \u00eel prive\u0219te cu mil\u0103 \u0219i-l \u00eentreab\u0103: \u2013 Sunte\u021bi c\u0103s\u0103torit? \u2013 Normal. Crezi c\u0103 mama m-ar fi trimis dup\u0103 p\u00e2ine pe o vreme ca asta!?<\/p>\n

Paradoxul planific\u0103rii.<\/strong> Planificarea realiz\u0103rii unei \u00eent\u00e2lniri intime cu o femeie \u00ee\u021bi ia mult mai mult timp dec\u00e2t cel afectat contactului propriu-zis. (Murphy)<\/em>.<\/p>\n

Ve\u0219nic nemul\u021bumi\u021bi<\/strong>(Ion Fercu).<\/em> Pe vremuri, era\u021bi scandaliza\u021bi c\u0103 B\u0103sescu bea\u2026 Acum, poftim, Nicu\u0219or e treaz. Mul\u021bumi\u021bi?<\/p>\n

Film.<\/strong> Scarlett O\u2019Hara: \u201cAfter all, tomorrow is another day\u201d. Translate into romanian: \u201cNu e dracul chiar a\u015fa de negru\u201d!<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

\n
<\/div>\n
\n
<\/div>\n<\/div>\n
\n

Fust\u0103.<\/strong> \u201dM-am g\u00e2ndit la Dumneavoastr\u0103 \u015fi la tot ce ar fi putut s\u0103 se \u00eent\u00e2mple \u00een noaptea de joi\u2026 dac\u0103 nu v-a\u0163i fi \u00eempotrivit. Mai bine de o or\u0103 \u00een mintea mea s-au derulat scenele noastre cele mai intime, cu o asemenea precizie \u00eenc\u00e2t a trebuit s\u0103 m\u0103 scol ca s\u0103 nu-mi pierd min\u0163ile. Am \u00een\u0163eles dependen\u0163a mea senzual\u0103 de Dumneavoastr\u0103 \u00een toat\u0103 claritatea ei abia dup\u0103 ce v-am m\u0103rturisit la telefon c\u0103 a\u015f vrea s\u0103-mi \u00eengrop capul pentru totdeauna sub fusta Dumneavoastr\u0103. Ce mortale pot fi anumite lucruri. A\u0163i fost oarecum speriat\u0103 c\u00e2nd v-am vorbit de o \u00eenclina\u0163ie \u201epervers\u0103\u201d pe care mi-o st\u00e2rne\u015fte trupul Dumneavoastr\u0103.\u201d (Emil Cioran \u00een Pentru nimic \u00een lume, scrisoare lui Friedgard Thoma, 2005).<\/em><\/p>\n

Reorientare<\/strong> (conjugal\u0103). Maria se hot\u0103r\u0103\u0219te \u2013 dup\u0103 lungi ezit\u0103ri \u2013 s\u0103-i spun\u0103 lui Ion c\u0103 ea vrea s\u0103 divor\u021beze. Vine Ion acas\u0103. Maria: \u2013 Ioane, am o veste proast\u0103 s\u0103-\u021bi spun. Ion: \u2013 Iar eu am o veste bun\u0103. Maria: \u2013 Atunci, spune tu primul. Ion: \u2013 Am c\u00e2\u0219tigat la Loto o gr\u0103mad\u0103 de bani\u201d Maria: \u2013 Am ars c\u00e2rna\u021bii\u2026<\/p>\n

Femeile de alt\u0103dat\u0103.<\/strong> \u201dLuptau cu lunga fust\u0103 \u00eenaltele lor tocuri,\/A\u015fa c\u0103, dup\u0103 locuri \u015fi v\u00e2nt, din c\u00e2nd \u00een c\u00e2nd,\/Vedeam \u00eentotdeauna piciorul lumin\u00e2nd\/\u015ei c\u00e2t iubeam aceste-n\u015fel\u0103toare jocuri!\u201d (Paul Verlaine)<\/em>.<\/p>\n

Detalii.<\/strong> Un so\u021b sun\u0103 la biroul \u0219erifului pentru a raporta dispari\u021bia so\u021biei. \u2013 So\u021bia mea este a fost la cump\u0103r\u0103turi ieri \u0219i nu s-a mai \u00eentors acas\u0103! \u2013 \u00cen\u0103l\u021bimea? \u2013 Nu sunt sigur. Pu\u021bin peste un metru \u0219i jum\u0103tate. \u2013 Greutatea? P\u0103iii\u2026 nu e slab\u0103, dar nici chiar gras\u0103. \u2013 Culoarea ochilor? \u2013 Un fel de c\u0103prui, cred. \u2013 Culoarea p\u0103rului? \u2013 Se schimb\u0103 de c\u00e2teva ori pe an. Cred c\u0103 acum e ro\u0219u \u00eenchis. \u2013 Ce purta? \u2013 Probabil pantaloni, sau poate o fust\u0103? Nu-mi amintesc exact. \u2013 Cu ce fel de ma\u0219in\u0103 a plecat ? \u2013 Cu camioneta mea. \u2013 Ce fel de camionet\u0103 era? \u2013 Un Ram Limited 4X4 alb perlat din 2016 cu motor V8 de 6,4 litri, comandat cu op\u021biunea de bar\u0103 \u0219i frigider Ram Box, iluminare LED, camer\u0103 video pentru mar\u0219arier \u0219i fa\u021b\u0103, scaune \u00eenc\u0103lzite din piele, aer condi\u021bionat cu control climatic. Are o hus\u0103 personalizat\u0103 alb\u0103 asortat\u0103 pentru ben\u0103, covora\u0219e Weather Tech. Pachet de remorcare cu c\u00e2rlig auriu, trap\u0103, DVD cu naviga\u021bie GPS complet\u0103, radio prin satelit cu 40 de canale, \u0219ase suporturi pentru pahare, 3 porturi USB \u0219i 4 prize. I-am ad\u0103ugat jante speciale din aliaj \u0219i anvelope Toyota off-road. Are \u0219i sc\u0103ri retractabile personalizate. \u0218eriful: \u2013 Stai lini\u0219tit, domnule, sigur v\u0103 vom g\u0103si camioneta!<\/p>\n

De ce dai voie v\u00e2ntului?<\/strong> \u201dDe ce dai voie v\u00e2ntului s\u0103 umble\/Prin p\u0103rul t\u0103u \u015fi s\u0103 \u0163i-l r\u0103v\u0103\u015feasc\u0103?\/E m\u00e2ng\u00e2ierea lui, f\u0103cut\u0103-n tumbe,\/Mai cald\u0103, mai suav\u0103, mai cereasc\u0103?\/Sunt degetele lui f\u00e2lf\u00e2itoare\/Mai me\u015ftere \u00een joc, mai f\u0103r\u0103 num\u0103r\/C\u00e2nd te cuprind din cap p\u00e2n\u0103-n picioare,\/C\u00e2nd \u00ee\u0163i dau jos buchetul de pe um\u0103r?\/De ce la\u015fi v\u00e2ntul ca s\u0103-\u015fi pun\u0103 palma\/Oriunde vrea \u015fi, -ncol\u0103cindu-\u0163i s\u00e2nul,\/Prin fustele sub\u0163iri ce zbor de-a valma,\/S\u0103 te priveasc\u0103 cu-ochi bl\u00e2nzi, b\u0103tr\u00e2nul?\/De ce, c\u00e2nd te p\u00e2nde\u015fte-ascuns prin iarb\u0103\/\u015ei vrea s\u0103-\u0163i s\u0103rute gura-n voie,\/- \u00cen timp ce eu t\u00e2njesc cu pl\u00e2nsu-n barb\u0103 \u2013\/Pe el \u00eel la\u015fi\u2026 iar mie, nu-mi dai voie\u2026\u201d (Radu Stanca)<\/em><\/p>\n

Apus.<\/strong> \u201d Doamnei de odinioar\u0103,\/Care-o f\u0103cea pe augusta,\/Numai v\u00e2ntul, \u00eentr-o doar\u0103,\/Dac\u0103-i mai ridic\u0103 fusta!\u201d (Anda Andrie\u015f)<\/em><\/p>\n

Milostivenie.<\/strong> \u201eAfl\u00e2nd c\u0103 \u00eenvinuitele de curvie m\u0103rturisit\u0103 au fost \u00eenchise \u00een beciurile Mitropoliei de la Sf\u00e2ntul Gheorghe, unde erau \u0163inute \u201dde mureau de foame, \u00een \u00eentuneric, r\u0103m\u00e2n\u00e2nd ca vai de ele, goale, f\u0103r\u0103 m\u0103car o fust\u0103 pe ele\u201d, Doamnei Catrina, so\u0163ia Mavrocordatului, i se \u00eenmuie inima de mil\u0103 \u015fi se hot\u0103r\u00ee s\u0103 fac\u0103 ceva pentru bietele femei lovite de crunta reform\u0103 \u201dmoraviceasc\u0103\u201d a lui Vod\u0103. \u00ce\u015fi lu\u0103 o interpret\u0103, c\u0103ci nu se deprinsese prea bine cu limba \u0163\u0103rii, \u015fi cobor\u00ee, cu voia so\u0163ului, \u00een \u00eentunecatele beciuri de la Mitropolie. Ceea ce v\u0103zu o \u00eengrozi. Nu se poate a\u015fa ceva, \u00ee\u015fi zise, dup\u0103 ce z\u0103bovi acolo c\u00e2teva ceasuri bune, st\u00e2nd de vorb\u0103 cu bietele femei. Le-a \u00eencurajat c\u00e2t a putut, \u201dtrimi\u0163\u00e2ndu-le apoi p\u00e2ine \u015fi lumin\u0103, ca s\u0103 nu \u015fad\u0103 pe \u00eentuneric, \u015fi c\u00e2te un caier-dou\u0103 de in, ca s\u0103 nu stea degeaba\u201d. Dar nu-i de-ajuns, \u00ee\u015fi mai spuse miloasa Doamn\u0103. Dup\u0103 ce ob\u0163inu \u00eencuviin\u0163area domnitorului, d\u0103du sfoar\u0103 prin \u0163ar\u0103 cum c\u0103 oricare din acele femei nenorocite, \u00eenchise din vina lor \u00een beciurile Mitropoliei, va fi slobozit\u0103 dac\u0103 se va g\u0103si un suflet bun de b\u0103rbat care s\u0103 le cear\u0103 de nevast\u0103. Pretenden\u0163i s-au g\u0103sit \u00eendat\u0103. Mai ales c\u0103 Doamna Catrina nu a omis s\u0103 specifice \u00een depe\u015fele trimise \u00eenspre toate col\u0163urile Moldovei c\u0103 fiecare mireas\u0103 ie\u015fit\u0103 din beciurile de la Sf\u00e2ntul Gheorghe va primi, ca zestre, pe seama vistieriei domne\u015fti, ve\u0219minte, c\u00e2te o pung\u0103 cu zece galbeni, o vac\u0103 cu vi\u0163el, cinci oi gata a f\u0103ta \u015fi c\u00e2te zece g\u0103ini ou\u0103toare cu coco\u015ful de trebuin\u0163\u0103\u2026 A\u015fadar, reformele lui Nicolae Mavrocordat s-au soldat cu rezultatele scontate. O vreme, se scrie \u00een cronici, nu a mai fost vorba, cic\u0103, de popi be\u0163ivi \u015fi fustangii \u015fi nici de femei \u00eenvinuite de curvie m\u0103rturisit\u0103. C\u00e2t\u0103 vreme anume nu se spune. Cronicarii au t\u0103cut m\u00e2lc din acest punct de vedere.\u201d (Grigore Toloac\u0103). <\/em><\/p>\n

Motto.<\/strong> (Comercial). Vorba bunicului: \u201dTot ce are s\u00e2ni sau ro\u021bi\/ \u00ce\u021bi m\u0103n\u0103nc\u0103 banii, to\u021bi!\u201d.<\/p>\n

Net. <\/strong> \u00cen carantin\u0103: \u2013 Mam\u0103, ce are de merge netu\u2019 a\u0219a greu? \u2013 Ori tac-tu descarc\u0103 filme porno, ori sor-ta \u00eencarc\u0103!<\/p>\n

Educa\u021bie<\/strong> (sexual\u0103). \u00cen timpul unui consiliu profesoral, directorul liceului \u00eentreab\u0103: \u2013 Cum merge noul nostru curs de educa\u0163ie sexual\u0103? \u2013 Merge perfect! Elevii particip\u0103 cu at\u00e2t entuziasm, \u00eenc\u00e2t, p\u00e2n\u0103 la finele anului \u015fcolar va trebui s\u0103 deschidem, de urgen\u0163\u0103, o cre\u015f\u0103!<\/p>\n

Ziar.<\/strong> B\u0103rbatul este asemenea unui ziar: \u2013 De la 20 la 30 de ani este cotidian. \u2013 De la 30 la 40 de ani este s\u0103pt\u0103m\u00e2nal. \u2013 De la 40 la 50 este bilunar. \u2013 De la 50 la 60 este lunar. \u2013 De la 60 la 70 de ani apare doar \u00een edi\u021bie special\u0103.<\/p>\n

\u00censurat.<\/strong> Iarn\u0103\u2026viscol\u2026Un tip zgribulit, tremur\u00e2nd de frig, intr\u0103 \u00eentr-o brut\u0103rie. V\u00e2nz\u0103torul \u00eel prive\u0219te cu mil\u0103 \u0219i-l \u00eentreab\u0103: \u2013 Sunte\u021bi c\u0103s\u0103torit? \u2013 Normal. Crezi c\u0103 mama m-ar fi trimis dup\u0103 p\u00e2ine pe o vreme ca asta!?<\/p>\n

Paradoxul planific\u0103rii.<\/strong> Planificarea realiz\u0103rii unei \u00eent\u00e2lniri intime cu o femeie \u00ee\u021bi ia mult mai mult timp dec\u00e2t cel afectat contactului propriu-zis. (Murphy)<\/em>.<\/p>\n

Ve\u0219nic nemul\u021bumi\u021bi<\/strong>(Ion Fercu).<\/em> Pe vremuri, era\u021bi scandaliza\u021bi c\u0103 B\u0103sescu bea\u2026 Acum, poftim, Nicu\u0219or e treaz. Mul\u021bumi\u021bi?<\/p>\n

Film.<\/strong> Scarlett O\u2019Hara: \u201cAfter all, tomorrow is another day\u201d. Translate into romanian: \u201cNu e dracul chiar a\u015fa de negru\u201d!<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

[analyse_source url=”https:\/\/www.monitorulsv.ro\/cockteil-cu-amor-umor-si-poezie-fuste-2\/”]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

[analyse_image type=”featured” src=”https:\/\/vol.monitorulsv.ro\/articole\/2026\/10\/19\/7275a1a2-a04d-41ee-82f9-91812482d9eb-vgfow1920h2641.jpg”] Fust\u0103. \u201dM-am g\u00e2ndit la Dumneavoastr\u0103 \u015fi la tot ce ar fi putut s\u0103 se \u00eent\u00e2mple \u00een noaptea de joi\u2026 dac\u0103 nu v-a\u0163i fi \u00eempotrivit. Mai bine de o or\u0103 \u00een mintea mea s-au derulat scenele noastre cele mai intime, cu o asemenea precizie \u00eenc\u00e2t a trebuit s\u0103 m\u0103 scol ca s\u0103 nu-mi […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[89],"tags":[226,166],"class_list":["post-2208906","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-romania","tag-crawlmanager","tag-monitorulsv-ro"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/analyse.optim.biz\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2208906","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/analyse.optim.biz\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/analyse.optim.biz\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/analyse.optim.biz\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/analyse.optim.biz\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=2208906"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/analyse.optim.biz\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2208906\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/analyse.optim.biz\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=2208906"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/analyse.optim.biz\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=2208906"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/analyse.optim.biz\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=2208906"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}