{"id":2166417,"date":"2026-09-27T06:29:38","date_gmt":"2026-09-27T03:29:38","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/analyse.optim.biz\/?p=2166417"},"modified":"2026-09-27T06:29:38","modified_gmt":"2026-09-27T03:29:38","slug":"cheltenham-artist-explores-beautiful-mess-of-motherhood","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/analyse.optim.biz\/?p=2166417","title":{"rendered":"Cheltenham artist explores ‘beautiful mess’ of motherhood"},"content":{"rendered":"

[analyse_image type=”featured” src=”https:\/\/ichef.bbci.co.uk\/news\/1024\/branded_news\/2af4\/live\/0089a9a0-b812-11f1-9172-17f860da9de7.jpg”]<\/p>\n

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\"EmmaEmma Howell<\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
Emma Howell’s exhibition Day after Day explores the challenges of motherhood<\/figcaption><\/div>\n<\/figure>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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An artist who spent years trying to have a baby through IVF has created an exhibition exploring motherhood.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n

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Emma Howell, 34, from Cheltenham, Gloucestershire, gave birth to her daughter in February 2025 after what she described as a “gruelling” IVF process.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n

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Her exhibition, Day after Day, looks at the first 18 months of motherhood through four seasons: Overstimulation, endurance, lessons and becoming.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n

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“It’s beautiful, it’s wonderful, it’s all of those words, but it’s also full of grit and sadness and jealousy of the old life,” she said.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n

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“It’s a mess, but a beautiful mess.”<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n

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\"EmmaEmma Howell<\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
Howell says she is grateful for her baby daughter<\/figcaption><\/div>\n<\/figure>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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Howell said her experience of infertility and IVF had consumed her identity, leaving her with complex emotions that she was still trying to process.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n

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“It was just the jealousy,” she said.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n

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“It overtakes every ounce of your being and just the waiting and the phone calls and the tests and it just completely consumes you.”<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n

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She said that, despite wanting a child for so long, she had not been prepared for the reality of motherhood.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n

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“Up until the day she was born, it was almost kind of disbelief. It’s denial. It’s constant denial.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n

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“And when she was born, did I have that overwhelming sense of rush of love?<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n

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“No, I didn’t, because I was just so scared about what’s next.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n

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“And obviously I was so focused on the infertility and actually getting pregnant, the having the baby bit I didn’t even think about.”<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n

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After wanting a baby for so long, Howell said she felt an “overwhelming sense of guilt” through the difficult times.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n

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“She cried all day, she kind of had colicky episodes for the first six months. <\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n

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“I still, to this day, have hard days, and I think maybe was the universe telling me I shouldn’t have been a mother?”<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n

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She said motherhood had also changed her understanding of identity.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n

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“Everyone always puts pressure on, once you have a baby, get back to the old you.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n

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“But there is no old, that person is gone.”<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n

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But Howell said her daughter was “very active, lovely and happy.”<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n

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“I’m very grateful for her.”<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n

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\"EmmaEmma Howell<\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
Howell’s exhibition explores the passing of time during early motherhood<\/figcaption><\/div>\n<\/figure>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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Howell’s exhibition explores the passing of time, with the days of early motherhood often feeling repetitive while huge changes take place.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n

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The title Day after Day also has a personal meaning for Howell, abbreviating to DAD in honour of her father, Mark Howell, a local musician who died 10 years ago.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n

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“He will always be woven into all of my artwork. He was a creative person, a musician. My pursuit in his life is to just continue his legacy. It just feels like a kind of inner calling, so painting isn’t really optional for me.”<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n

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Day after Day is on display at Sixteen Gallery in Montpellier, Cheltenham, from 25-30 September.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n

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Follow BBC Gloucestershire on <\/i>Facebook<\/i>, <\/i>X<\/i> and <\/i>Instagram<\/i>. Send your story ideas to us on email or via <\/i>WhatsApp on 0800 313 4630<\/i>.<\/i><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/article>\n

[analyse_source url=”https:\/\/www.bbc.com\/news\/articles\/cmwyzj7jvyp1o”]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

[analyse_image type=”featured” src=”https:\/\/ichef.bbci.co.uk\/news\/1024\/branded_news\/2af4\/live\/0089a9a0-b812-11f1-9172-17f860da9de7.jpg”] Emma Howell Emma Howell’s exhibition Day after Day explores the challenges of motherhood An artist who spent years trying to have a baby through IVF has created an exhibition exploring motherhood. Emma Howell, 34, from Cheltenham, Gloucestershire, gave birth to her daughter in February 2025 after what she described as a “gruelling” […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[2],"tags":[35,226],"class_list":["post-2166417","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-politics","tag-bbc-com","tag-crawlmanager"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/analyse.optim.biz\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2166417","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/analyse.optim.biz\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/analyse.optim.biz\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/analyse.optim.biz\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/analyse.optim.biz\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=2166417"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/analyse.optim.biz\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2166417\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/analyse.optim.biz\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=2166417"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/analyse.optim.biz\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=2166417"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/analyse.optim.biz\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=2166417"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}