{"id":1969689,"date":"2026-06-03T09:30:14","date_gmt":"2026-06-03T06:30:14","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/analyse.optim.biz\/?p=1969689"},"modified":"2026-06-03T09:30:14","modified_gmt":"2026-06-03T06:30:14","slug":"victor-wembanyama-isnt-afraid-to-cry-one-performance-expert-thinks-we-need-more-of-it","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/analyse.optim.biz\/?p=1969689","title":{"rendered":"Victor Wembanyama isn\u2019t afraid to cry. One performance expert thinks we need more of it"},"content":{"rendered":"
\n

This story is part of Peak,\u00a0<\/em>The Athletic\u2019s desk covering the mental side of sports. Sign up for Peak\u2019s newsletter\u00a0here<\/a>.<\/em><\/p>\n

Victor Wembanyama sat on the bench with his San Antonio Spurs teammates, visibly emotional as he watched his team secure a victory over the Portland Trail Blazers in the NBA playoffs.<\/p>\n

\n
\n
\n

Advertisement<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n

After the game, a French reporter asked Wembanyama why he believes athletes often struggle to display their feelings.<\/p>\n

\u201cPersonally,\u201d Wembanyama said, \u201cI refuse to carry the burden of having to hide my emotions.\u201d<\/p>\n

When Brad Stulberg, a University of Michigan professor and author of \u201cThe Way of Excellence,\u201d heard the comment, he immediately thought of what he calls the \u201cepidemic of nonchalance.\u201d A culture where caring deeply can be mistaken for weakness and emotional investment is often treated as something to hide.<\/p>\n

To Stulberg, it\u2019s exactly why Wembanyama\u2019s answer stood out.<\/p>\n

Stulberg works in the graduate school of public health at Michigan, where he researches, writes about and teaches human performance. Wembanyama is a particularly fascinating case study.<\/p>\n

A 7-foot-4 center from France, Wembanyama has become one of the biggest stars in the NBA in just his third season. And he has done it by wearing his heart on his sleeve, including crying after leading the Spurs to the NBA Finals.<\/p>\n

\n

To Stulberg, it underscores a larger idea. He said a lot of people convince themselves they don\u2019t care about something as much as they actually do in the hope that it\u2019ll soften the blow if things fall through.<\/p>\n

But he sees that less as confidence, and more as self-protection, or what he calls a \u201cbuilt-in handicap.\u201d The problem, he said, is that protecting yourself from failure or judgment often means holding back from giving 100 percent of yourself.<\/p>\n

<\/div>\n

{“endpoint”:”https:\/\/api-prd-nyt.theathletic.com\/graphql”}<\/p>\n

He views Wembanyama\u2019s willingness to openly care as a competitive advantage. The advantage isn\u2019t necessarily in displaying emotion; it\u2019s in refusing to waste energy hiding it.<\/p>\n

\u201cSo many athletes and people in general spend so much time and energy on putting up a facade of how they think they should act or how they think other people are going to perceive them,\u201d Stulberg said. \u201cAnd that\u2019s just wasted time and energy that could be used for competing. Give yourself permission to really lay it on the line. I think so many even elite athletes are self-handicapped in this way.\u201d<\/p>\n

<\/span><\/p>\n

<\/div>\n<\/p>\n

Wembanyama has said he channels disappointment, jealousy, anger and passion. Instead of trying to play a certain role, he embraces being himself by following his feelings.<\/p>\n

\n
\n
\n

Advertisement<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n

Stulberg said great performers often develop what psychologists call \u201cpsychological flexibility\u201d\u2014 the ability to experience a wide range of emotions without becoming trapped by any of them. Essentially, it\u2019s avoiding acting on short-term urges.<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s the ability a lot of elite performers have,\u201d he said, \u201cwhere they have this big toolbox of drives and they\u2019re able to match a certain drive to the moment or what\u2019s called for.\u201d<\/p>\n

The challenge is recognizing when a particular emotion is helping and when it has started to work against you.<\/p>\n

And that\u2019s a balance Wembanyama is still learning.<\/p>\n

Stulberg pointed to his ejection for elbowing Minnesota Timberwolves center Naz Reid in the second round of the playoffs as an example. The same emotional intensity that can fuel performance can also become a liability when it takes over. Stulberg recommends small rituals, like a deep breath or short phrase, to interrupt automatic emotional reactions and give yourself a chance to choose a better response.<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s practicing responding, not reacting,\u201d he said. \u201cReacting is rash and very emotionally laden, and responding is more deliberate.\u201d<\/p>\n

The potential benefits extend beyond individual performance.<\/p>\n

When a team\u2019s best player openly shows how much he cares, it gives others the permission to do the same. Trust, Stulberg said, is built through authenticity. Just as vulnerability strengthens friendships and relationships, it can strengthen teams by creating deeper bonds.<\/p>\n

For Stulberg, that\u2019s also where the lesson extends beyond basketball. The same willingness to care can strengthen experiences and ultimately lead to what he calls a \u201cbig and textured life.\u201d<\/p>\n

In his view, the lows may be lower, but the highs are higher. It is the price for a fuller emotional life.<\/p>\n

Holding yourself back, he argues, sacrifices not only growth and potential but also fulfillment, intimacy and love, all in exchange for short-term safety and comfort. He calls that tradeoff a trap.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou can either go through the motions and be superficially cool but actually boring,\u201d he said, \u201cor you can step into the arena, lay it on the line, care deeply, make yourself vulnerable and fully live your one and only life.<\/p>\n

\u201cThe world needs more people who have the guts to care.\u201d<\/p>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

This story is part of Peak,\u00a0The Athletic\u2019s desk covering the mental side of sports. Sign up for Peak\u2019s newsletter\u00a0here. Victor Wembanyama sat on the bench with his San Antonio Spurs teammates, visibly emotional as he watched his team secure a victory over the Portland Trail Blazers in the NBA playoffs. Advertisement After the game, a […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[226,241],"class_list":["post-1969689","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-crawlmanager","tag-nytimes-com"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/analyse.optim.biz\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1969689","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/analyse.optim.biz\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/analyse.optim.biz\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/analyse.optim.biz\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/analyse.optim.biz\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1969689"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/analyse.optim.biz\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1969689\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/analyse.optim.biz\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1969689"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/analyse.optim.biz\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1969689"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/analyse.optim.biz\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1969689"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}