{"id":1777853,"date":"2026-02-18T11:13:00","date_gmt":"2026-02-18T08:13:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/analyse.optim.biz\/?p=1777853"},"modified":"2026-02-18T11:13:00","modified_gmt":"2026-02-18T08:13:00","slug":"why-are-we-still-so-obsessed-with-love-languages","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/analyse.optim.biz\/?p=1777853","title":{"rendered":"Why are we still so obsessed with love languages?"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>[analyse_image type=&#8221;featured&#8221; src=&#8221;https:\/\/images-prod.dazeddigital.com\/1200\/0-0-1600-1066\/azure\/dazed-prod\/1430\/7\/1437844.jpeg&#8221;]<\/p>\n<article class=\"main-article standard \">\n<div class=\"article-main-content article-wrapper has-media-but-its-an-image\" data-status=\"loaded\" data-primary-article=\"true\" data-url=\"\/life-culture\/article\/69670\/1\/why-are-we-still-so-obsessed-with-love-languages\" data-article-id=\"69670\">\n<header class=\"article-header has-landscape-image no-media\">\n<div class=\"wrapper dg-max-width\">\n<div class=\"inner\">\n<figure class=\"main-img has-figcaption\" data-img-aspect-ratio-type=\"landscape\" data-img-aspect-ratio=\"1.5\" data-template=\"Standard Article\"><span class=\"has-css-custom-props image-container\" data-aspect-ratio-type=\"landscape\"><span class=\"preserve-aspect-ratio\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" alt=\"Heated Rivalry\" class=\"img\" height=\"1067\" src=\"https:\/\/images-prod.dazeddigital.com\/1400\/azure\/dazed-prod\/1430\/7\/1437844.jpeg\" width=\"1600\"><\/span><\/span><figcaption class=\"img-caption\"><span class=\"inner\"><span class=\"credit\">Heated Rivalry (2025)<\/span><\/span><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<aside class=\"meta\">\n<div class=\"inner\"><time datetime=\"2026-02-18T11:13:00+00:00\" class=\"timestamp\" title=\"18 February 2026\"><span class=\"month\">February<\/span>\u00a0<br \/>\n<span class=\"day\" data-day=\"18\">18,<\/span>\u00a0<br \/>\n<span class=\"year\">2026<\/span><\/time><\/div>\n<\/aside>\n<div class=\"titles\">\n<div class=\"tags\">\n<div class=\"sections\"><a class=\"category vertical - life-culture\" href=\"https:\/\/www.dazeddigital.com\/life-culture\">Life &amp; Culture<\/a><br \/>\n\/<br \/>\n<a class=\"series\" href=\"https:\/\/www.dazeddigital.com\/feature\">Feature<\/a><\/div>\n<\/div>\n<div class=\"standard-tag-container\"><a class=\"standard-category\" href=\"https:\/\/www.dazeddigital.com\/life-culture\">Life &amp; Culture<\/a> \/<br \/>\n<a class=\"standard-series\" href=\"https:\/\/www.dazeddigital.com\/feature\">Feature<\/a><\/div>\n<h1 class=\"title\"><span>Why are we still so obsessed with <span class=\"nowrap\">love languages?<\/span><\/span><\/h1>\n<div class=\"standfirst\">\n<h2>Decades after its conception, the ever-popular relationship framework and couples therapy tool has taken on a hyper-specific life of <span class=\"nowrap\">its own<\/span><\/h2>\n<\/div>\n<p><time datetime=\"2026-02-18T11:13:00+00:00\" class=\"timestamp\" title=\"18 February 2026\"><span class=\"month\">February<\/span>\u00a0<br \/>\n<span class=\"day\" data-day=\"18\">18,<\/span>\u00a0<br \/>\n<span class=\"year\">2026<\/span><\/time><\/div>\n<\/div>\n<p><time datetime=\"2026-02-18T11:13:00+00:00\" class=\"timestamp\" title=\"18 February 2026\"><span class=\"month\">February<\/span>\u00a0<br \/>\n<span class=\"day\" data-day=\"18\">18,<\/span>\u00a0<br \/>\n<span class=\"year\">2026<\/span><\/time><\/p>\n<div class=\"providers\">\n<div class=\"contributors\"><span class=\"contributor\" data-contributor-role=\"Text\"><span class=\"contributor-role\">Text<\/span><a class=\"contributor-name\" href=\"https:\/\/www.dazeddigital.com\/user\/isabelbekele\">Isabel Bekele<\/a><\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/header>\n<div class=\"article-body-container\">\n<div class=\"article-body wrapper\">\n<div class=\"embed-content\" data-embed-type=\"raw-html\">\n<p><span>Mina Sisley, a 25-year-old photographer based in New York, is an active dater. Over the past few years, Sisley has done several rounds of what her mum calls \u201cfive dates in five days\u201d, a practice that, as the name suggests, entails going on a first date every day for a week straight. Though the exercise is interesting (and romcom-coded) enough in itself, what\u2019s even more interesting is that, on nearly every date she\u2019s been on, Sisley\u2019s date asks what her love language is. Unfortunately, this usually results in the opposite of the intended effect; the former psychology major doesn\u2019t fully buy into love languages and feels as suspicious of a man talking about them as one who uses therapy-speak or inquires about her star sign. \u201cTo me, when a guy brings up love languages in that way, it\u2019s a sign that someone cooked here,\u201d she says.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span>Sisley\u2019s male suitors, who, for the record, almost always name physical touch as their love language, are not alone in their wielding of the phrase. The five love languages \u2013 which refer to words of affirmation, quality time, physical touch, acts of service and receiving gifts \u2013\u00a0 have remained popular since they were conceptualised by Gary Chapman. In 1992, the Christian pastor, who came up with them based on trends he noticed in the couples he counselled at his church, turned his observations into <\/span><em><span>The Five Love Languages: The Secret to Love that Lasts<\/span><\/em><span>. The bestseller argued that everyone has a different way of receiving and expressing love, and that understanding your partner\u2019s specific way is the key to a successful relationship.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span>To say that love languages have resonated with people would be an understatement. Since its release, Chapman\u2019s book has sold millions of copies, and decades later, \u201clove languages\u201d have become deeply embedded in our cultural lexicon. Today, they\u2019ve even taken on a life of their own, with people often going beyond the original five, and claiming everything from <a href=\"https:\/\/www.tiktok.com\/@adriakka.spam\/video\/7604937596963245325?q=my%20love%20language%20is%20playlists&amp;t=1770996778563\">creating playlists<\/a> to <a href=\"https:\/\/www.tiktok.com\/@theelliebarker\/video\/7597236633376689463?q=specific%20love%20language&amp;t=1770996844003\">being bored together<\/a> as a love language. Recently on TikTok, some young people have taken to sharing hyperspecific love languages of their own. While dating in 2026 couldn\u2019t feel more different from dating in 1992, it\u2019s clear that the notion still carries weight. So, why have love languages withstood the test of time?<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<div class=\"embed-content\" data-embed-type=\"media-tiktok\" data-id=\"7596110325917682975\">\n<\/div>\n<div class=\"embed-content\" data-embed-type=\"raw-html\">\n<p><span>Though in modern dating, it\u2019s not uncommon to discuss love languages on a first date, much of the framework\u2019s initial purpose and appeal was to help couples, especially married ones, who were already at their brink. Problems in your relationship didn\u2019t have to mean that you were fundamentally incompatible; they just meant that you and your partner showed love differently, AKA spoke different \u201clanguages\u201d, and if you could only learn each other\u2019s, you might be able to see one another more clearly. It\u2019s a relatively straightforward idea that, while not a psychological concept in the way that something like attachment styles are, is still used by mental health professionals today.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span>Lisa Chen, a psychotherapist based in California, for example, says she often utilises love languages in couples therapy, and that it\u2019s something she addresses at the start of her work with a couple. In fact, the relationship expert even assigns couples love language \u201chomework\u201d, asking them to explicitly state their own, and then practice expressing their partner\u2019s love language several times a week. \u201cThere are a lot of people that come in already understanding their love language,\u201d says Chen, who credits people\u2019s pre-existing literacy around love languages as a reason for their usefulness in therapy. \u201cIt\u2019s such a relatable and easy concept to grasp.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n<blockquote>\n<p><span>\u201cSelf-perception is difficult these days, and understanding how you present to everyone else is even harder. I think these systems provide a way to funnel all that information \u2013 a sense of stability or a way to define yourself\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<p><span>Over the years, the couples therapy tool evolved beyond its original use case. Love languages appear in popular music, like in <a href=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=MY8K95oaexQ\">Ariana Grande\u2019s 2020 song<\/a> of the same name. They appear on dating apps, like on Hinge, where they\u2019ve shown up as a prompt <a href=\"https:\/\/www.reddit.com\/r\/hingeapp\/comments\/pkdh4f\/whats_up_with_this\/#:~:text=There%20are%205%20love%20languages.%20That%20means,possible%20answers%20for%20people%20who%20list%202.\">as early as 2021<\/a>. They appear in winning college essays, like in Layla Kinjawi Faraj\u2019s <a href=\"https:\/\/www.nytimes.com\/2022\/05\/06\/style\/modern-love-college-essay-winner-syrian-war-whatsapp-group-chat.html\">2022 essay<\/a>, which named \u201cWhatsApp intimacy\u201d as a love language during times of war. Gradually, the phrase has expanded beyond the original five, too. Even love language sceptic Sisley, for example, names photography as a non-traditional love language of her own, citing the act of documenting and being documented as a way she experiences love.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span>Declarations of one\u2019s own love languages often appear on social media, especially on TikTok. There, sharing one\u2019s niche love language, usually typed out in <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.tiktok.com\/@fartskibibidi\/video\/7596007316391054622?q=love%20language&amp;t=1771344909110\"><span>yellow font<\/span><\/a><span>, of course, has become yet another way to show vulnerability and lay one\u2019s self bare on the app. While love languages have long been meme-ified, this current brand of online love language discourse has none of the forced quirkiness of its predecessors, like tweets that <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/uk.pinterest.com\/pin\/121104677468497490\/\"><span>named napping<\/span><\/a><span> as love language. Irony, it seems, is out, and earnestness is in.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span>Love languages are no longer just for couples, too. For people like Fabi Suarez, a 24-year-old living in New York City, they are a way to understand platonic relationships. Suarez, who admits she definitely buys into love languages, says that feeling considered is what she looks for both in a friend and in a partner, and that it\u2019s her female friendships that have taught her this the most. If she saw her former roommate\u2019s favourite candy at the store, for example, she would automatically buy a bag and leave it on her desk. \u201cThat\u2019s my way of saying, \u2018Hey, love you,\u2019 because I know I\u2019m not always the best with words of affirmation,\u201d she says. (Over time, her roommate picked up on Suarez\u2019s love language and started doing similarly considerate gestures for her.)<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<div class=\"embed-content\" data-embed-type=\"media-tiktok\" data-id=\"7596007316391054622\">\n<\/div>\n<div class=\"embed-content\" data-embed-type=\"raw-html\">\n<p><span>There\u2019s clearly a comfort that can be found in self-categorisation. Suarez compares love languages to taking a BuzzFeed quiz, in that it\u2019s comforting to know where you fit in the puzzle. \u201cSelf-perception is difficult these days, and understanding how you present to everyone else is even harder,\u201d she says. \u201cI think these systems provide a way to funnel all that information \u2013 a sense of stability or a way to define yourself.\u201d When understanding life and love feels nearly impossible, labels like love languages, attachment styles, astrological signs, and so on, can provide vernacular that helps us make sense of it all.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span>The expansion of what a love language can mean is ultimately a good thing, considering that the limitations of only having five have long been one of their main critiques. <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.instagram.com\/prestonrack\/\"><span>Preston Rakovsky<\/span><\/a><span>, for example, a 25-year-old who\u2019s somewhat of a nerd about love, is one of those critics. The software engineer turned content creator\u2019s preoccupation with the subject started three years ago, when he would go to parks with a sign that read, \u201cI\u2019m bored. Let me ask you vulnerable questions.\u201d Eventually, Rakovsky\u2019s projects became widely-viewed dialogues on social media.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span>\u201cAs someone who talks to people about this every day, I couldn\u2019t disagree with them more,\u201d says Rakovsky of the five love languages, which he considers too broad and loosely defined. Love languages are often brought up in his interviews, but in a <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.tiktok.com\/@prestonrack\/photo\/7581667981315345677\"><span>more nuanced context<\/span><\/a><span>. After all, there are far more than five ways to give and receive love. \u201cIntimacy for me is about curiosity, but I\u2019ve talked to people where their \u2018language\u2019 is playfulness \u2013 they need to be silly to feel safe,\u201d says Rakovsky. \u201cIt blows my mind how diverse those needs are.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span>No matter what one\u2019s opinions on love languages are, the decades-old concept clearly represents a timeless craving: recognition. And perhaps the act of simply getting people talking about love is a win. Even Rakovsky, a love language hater, recognises that wanting to feel understood is most people\u2019s ultimate craving. \u201cI think we\u2019re all just looking for proof that we are seen,\u201d he says. <\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<div id=\"newsletter-inline-last\">\n<div class=\"newsletter-small\">\n<div class=\"inner\">\n<h1 class=\"newsletter-title\">Escape the algorithm! Get The Drop<\/h1>\n<div class=\"meta-row\">\n<p class=\"meta\">Get must-see stories direct to your inbox every weekday.<\/p>\n<p class=\"paragraph\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.dazeddigital.com\/privacy-policy\" class=\"meta-link\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"><br \/>\nPrivacy policy<br \/>\n<\/a><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<div class=\"confirmation\" aria-live=\"polite\">\n<p class=\"confirmation-title\">Thank you. You have been subscribed<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/www.dazeddigital.com\/privacy-policy\" class=\"meta-link\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"><br \/>\nPrivacy policy<br \/>\n<\/a><\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<footer class=\"article-footer\">\n<div class=\"wrapper\">\n<div class=\"article-series\">\n<h4 class=\"heading\">More on these topics<\/h4>\n<\/div>\n<div class=\"article-series\"><a class=\"series\" href=\"https:\/\/www.dazeddigital.com\/life-culture\">Life &amp; Culture<\/a><a class=\"series\" href=\"https:\/\/www.dazeddigital.com\/feature\">Feature<\/a><a class=\"series\" href=\"https:\/\/www.dazeddigital.com\/tag\/love\">love<\/a><a class=\"series\" href=\"https:\/\/www.dazeddigital.com\/tag\/dating\">Dating<\/a><a class=\"series\" href=\"https:\/\/www.dazeddigital.com\/tag\/social-media\">social media<\/a><\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/footer>\n<div class=\"grid\">\n<div class=\"lava-lamp\">\n<div class=\"lava-lamp-text-container\">\n<h3 class=\"lava-lamp-subheading\">Expand your creative community and connect with 15,000 creatives from around the world.<\/h3>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<div class=\"grid section-header\">\n<div class=\"section-header__link\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.dazeddigital.com\/life-culture\/article\/69670\/1\/life-culture\"><\/p>\n<h2 class=\"section-header__title\">READ MORE<\/h2>\n<p><\/a><\/div>\n<\/div>\n<div class=\"grid tag-article-list\">\n<div class=\"swiper swiper-latest\">\n<div class=\"swiper-wrapper\">\n<div class=\"swiper-slide list-element\">\n<div class=\"scard-latest__section\">\n<div class=\"card-latest__wrapper\"><a class=\"card-latest\" href=\"https:\/\/www.dazeddigital.com\/life-culture\/article\/69663\/1\/madeline-cash-lost-lambs-interview-book-2026\"><\/p>\n<div class=\"card-latest__img-wrapper\"><span class=\"image-container\" data-aspect-ratio-type=\"landscape\"><span class=\"preserve-aspect-ratio\"><img decoding=\"async\" alt=\"469254\" src=\"https:\/\/images-prod.dazeddigital.com\/480\/0-599-1400-931\/azure\/dazed-prod\/1430\/7\/1437827.jpeg\"><\/span><\/span><\/div>\n<div class=\"card-latest__content\">\n<h3 class=\"card-latest__title\">How Madeline Cash wrote the most hyped novel of 2026<\/h3>\n<\/div>\n<p><\/a><a class=\"card-latest\" href=\"https:\/\/www.dazeddigital.com\/life-culture\/article\/69637\/1\/language-looksmaxxing-jestergooning-incel-4chan-clavicular-adam-aleksic\"><\/p>\n<div class=\"card-latest__img-wrapper\"><span class=\"image-container\" data-aspect-ratio-type=\"landscape\"><span class=\"preserve-aspect-ratio\"><img decoding=\"async\" alt=\"looksmaxxing\" src=\"https:\/\/images-prod.dazeddigital.com\/480\/343-456-1774-1180\/azure\/dazed-prod\/1430\/7\/1437627.jpg\"><\/span><\/span><\/div>\n<div class=\"card-latest__content\">\n<h3 class=\"card-latest__title\">From looksmaxxing to mogging: How incel language went mainstream<\/h3>\n<\/div>\n<p><\/a><a class=\"card-latest\" href=\"https:\/\/www.dazeddigital.com\/art-photography\/article\/69609\/1\/bacardi-cebo-luthuli-amapiano-club-night-london\"><\/p>\n<div class=\"card-latest__img-wrapper\">\n<p class=\"optional-paragraph\">BACARD\u00cd<\/p>\n<p><span class=\"image-container\" data-aspect-ratio-type=\"landscape\"><span class=\"preserve-aspect-ratio\"><img decoding=\"async\" alt=\"bacardi Move With The Greats campaign Cebo Luthuli\" src=\"https:\/\/images-prod.dazeddigital.com\/480\/0-247-1080-718\/azure\/dazed-prod\/1430\/6\/1436924.jpg\"><\/span><\/span><\/div>\n<div class=\"card-latest__content\">\n<h3 class=\"card-latest__title\">In pictures: Unfiltered joy from the heart of Amapiano club culture<\/h3>\n<\/div>\n<p><\/a><\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<div class=\"swiper-slide list-element\">\n<div class=\"scard-latest__section\">\n<div class=\"card-latest__wrapper\"><a class=\"card-latest\" href=\"https:\/\/www.dazeddigital.com\/life-culture\/article\/69658\/1\/winter-olympics-2026-breakout-stars-milano-cortina-blade-angels-alysa-liu\"><\/p>\n<div class=\"card-latest__img-wrapper\"><span class=\"image-container\" data-aspect-ratio-type=\"landscape\"><span class=\"preserve-aspect-ratio\"><img decoding=\"async\" alt=\" Alysa Liu, Amber Glenn and Isabeau Levito \" src=\"https:\/\/images-prod.dazeddigital.com\/480\/0-758-1999-1330\/azure\/dazed-prod\/1430\/7\/1437648.jpg\"><\/span><\/span><\/div>\n<div class=\"card-latest__content\">\n<h3 class=\"card-latest__title\">Winter Olympics 2026: The breakout stars from Milano Cortina <\/h3>\n<\/div>\n<p><\/a><a class=\"card-latest\" href=\"https:\/\/www.dazeddigital.com\/life-culture\/article\/69605\/1\/impossible-to-find-love-in-the-club-dating-apps-nightclub-valentines-day\"><\/p>\n<div class=\"card-latest__img-wrapper\"><span class=\"image-container\" data-aspect-ratio-type=\"landscape\"><span class=\"preserve-aspect-ratio\"><img decoding=\"async\" alt=\"3895\" src=\"https:\/\/images-prod.dazeddigital.com\/480\/0-1-1200-798\/azure\/dazed-prod\/1430\/6\/1436900.jpg\"><\/span><\/span><\/div>\n<div class=\"card-latest__content\">\n<h3 class=\"card-latest__title\">Why do we think we can\u2019t find love in the club?<\/h3>\n<\/div>\n<p><\/a><a class=\"card-latest\" href=\"https:\/\/www.dazeddigital.com\/life-culture\/article\/69645\/1\/wuthering-heights-novel-difficult-reading-emerald-fennell-tiktok\"><\/p>\n<div class=\"card-latest__img-wrapper\"><span class=\"image-container\" data-aspect-ratio-type=\"landscape\"><span class=\"preserve-aspect-ratio\"><img decoding=\"async\" alt=\"Wuthering Heights, 2025 (Film Still)\" src=\"https:\/\/images-prod.dazeddigital.com\/480\/137-43-1018-677\/azure\/dazed-prod\/1430\/7\/1437348.jpg\"><\/span><\/span><\/div>\n<div class=\"card-latest__content\">\n<h3 class=\"card-latest__title\">No, Gen-Z aren\u2019t too dumb to read Wuthering Heights<\/h3>\n<\/div>\n<p><\/a><\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<div class=\"swiper-slide list-element\">\n<div class=\"scard-latest__section\">\n<div class=\"card-latest__wrapper\"><a class=\"card-latest\" href=\"https:\/\/www.dazeddigital.com\/life-culture\/article\/69640\/1\/romance-booming-our-culture-less-romantic-ever-wuthering-heights-valentines-day\"><\/p>\n<div class=\"card-latest__img-wrapper\"><span class=\"image-container\" data-aspect-ratio-type=\"landscape\"><span class=\"preserve-aspect-ratio\"><img decoding=\"async\" alt=\"Eternal Sunshine Of The Spotless Mind\" src=\"https:\/\/images-prod.dazeddigital.com\/480\/0-0-1082-720\/azure\/dazed-prod\/1380\/3\/1383697.jpg\"><\/span><\/span><\/div>\n<div class=\"card-latest__content\">\n<h3 class=\"card-latest__title\">Romance is booming. But is our culture less romantic than ever?<\/h3>\n<\/div>\n<p><\/a><a class=\"card-latest\" href=\"https:\/\/www.dazeddigital.com\/life-culture\/article\/69613\/1\/what-to-do-caught-cheating-sturla-holm-laegreid-winter-olympics\"><\/p>\n<div class=\"card-latest__img-wrapper\"><span class=\"image-container\" data-aspect-ratio-type=\"landscape\"><span class=\"preserve-aspect-ratio\"><img decoding=\"async\" alt=\"Bronze medalist Sturla Holm Laegreid of Team Norway\" src=\"https:\/\/images-prod.dazeddigital.com\/480\/0-0-1024-681\/azure\/dazed-prod\/1430\/6\/1436965.jpg\"><\/span><\/span><\/div>\n<div class=\"card-latest__content\">\n<h3 class=\"card-latest__title\">What to do (and not do) if you get caught cheating<\/h3>\n<\/div>\n<p><\/a><a class=\"card-latest\" href=\"https:\/\/www.dazeddigital.com\/life-culture\/article\/69592\/1\/does-the-internet-have-mummy-issues-ej-dickson-investigates-one-bad-mother\"><\/p>\n<div class=\"card-latest__img-wrapper\"><span class=\"image-container\" data-aspect-ratio-type=\"landscape\"><span class=\"preserve-aspect-ratio\"><img decoding=\"async\" alt=\"The Florida Project\" src=\"https:\/\/images-prod.dazeddigital.com\/480\/0-1-1760-1171\/azure\/dazed-prod\/1430\/6\/1436680.jpeg\"><\/span><\/span><\/div>\n<div class=\"card-latest__content\">\n<h3 class=\"card-latest__title\">Does the internet have mummy issues? Ej Dickson investigates<\/h3>\n<\/div>\n<p><\/a><\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<div class=\"swiper-slide list-element\">\n<div class=\"scard-latest__section\">\n<div class=\"card-latest__wrapper\"><a class=\"card-latest\" href=\"https:\/\/www.dazeddigital.com\/life-culture\/article\/69586\/1\/jennette-mccurdy-women-are-told-not-offend-half-his-age-interview-novel\"><\/p>\n<div class=\"card-latest__img-wrapper\"><span class=\"image-container\" data-aspect-ratio-type=\"landscape\"><span class=\"preserve-aspect-ratio\"><img decoding=\"async\" alt=\"Jennette Half His Age pro\" src=\"https:\/\/images-prod.dazeddigital.com\/480\/0-54-1170-778\/azure\/dazed-prod\/1430\/6\/1436656.jpg\"><\/span><\/span><\/div>\n<div class=\"card-latest__content\">\n<h3 class=\"card-latest__title\">Half His Age: Jennette McCurdy\u2019s new novel takes on age-gap relationships<\/h3>\n<\/div>\n<p><\/a><a class=\"card-latest\" href=\"https:\/\/www.dazeddigital.com\/life-culture\/article\/69579\/1\/breakdancing-sunny-choi-oakley-meta-superbowl\"><\/p>\n<div class=\"card-latest__img-wrapper\">\n<p class=\"optional-paragraph\">Oakley <\/p>\n<p><span class=\"image-container\" data-aspect-ratio-type=\"landscape\"><span class=\"preserve-aspect-ratio\"><img decoding=\"async\" alt=\"Oakley Meta Sunny Choi\" src=\"https:\/\/images-prod.dazeddigital.com\/480\/0-106-1080-718\/azure\/dazed-prod\/1430\/6\/1436584.png\"><\/span><\/span><\/div>\n<div class=\"card-latest__content\">\n<h3 class=\"card-latest__title\">Breakdancer Sunny Choi is Super Bowl ready<\/h3>\n<\/div>\n<p><\/a><a class=\"card-latest\" href=\"https:\/\/www.dazeddigital.com\/life-culture\/article\/69570\/1\/jim-beam-and-dazed-are-celebrating-game-day-early\"><\/p>\n<div class=\"card-latest__img-wrapper\">\n<p class=\"optional-paragraph\">Jim Beam<\/p>\n<p><span class=\"image-container\" data-aspect-ratio-type=\"landscape\"><span class=\"preserve-aspect-ratio\"><img decoding=\"async\" alt=\"Jim Beam x Dazed\" src=\"https:\/\/images-prod.dazeddigital.com\/480\/0-2-2920-1942\/azure\/dazed-prod\/1430\/6\/1436639.jpeg\"><\/span><\/span><\/div>\n<div class=\"card-latest__content\">\n<h3 class=\"card-latest__title\">Jim Beam and Dazed are celebrating game day early<\/h3>\n<\/div>\n<p><\/a><\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<div id=\"newsletter-inline\" data-newsletter hidden>\n<div class=\"newsletter-small\">\n<div class=\"inner\">\n<h1 class=\"newsletter-title\">Escape the algorithm! Get The Drop<\/h1>\n<div class=\"meta-row\">\n<p class=\"meta\">Get must-see stories direct to your inbox every weekday.<\/p>\n<p class=\"paragraph\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.dazeddigital.com\/privacy-policy\" class=\"meta-link\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"><br \/>\nPrivacy policy<br \/>\n<\/a><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<div class=\"confirmation\" aria-live=\"polite\">\n<p class=\"confirmation-title\">Thank you. You have been subscribed<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/www.dazeddigital.com\/privacy-policy\" class=\"meta-link\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"><br \/>\nPrivacy policy<br \/>\n<\/a><\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/article>\n<div class=\"article-body wrapper\">\n<div class=\"embed-content\" data-embed-type=\"raw-html\">\n<p><span>Mina Sisley, a 25-year-old photographer based in New York, is an active dater. Over the past few years, Sisley has done several rounds of what her mum calls \u201cfive dates in five days\u201d, a practice that, as the name suggests, entails going on a first date every day for a week straight. Though the exercise is interesting (and romcom-coded) enough in itself, what\u2019s even more interesting is that, on nearly every date she\u2019s been on, Sisley\u2019s date asks what her love language is. Unfortunately, this usually results in the opposite of the intended effect; the former psychology major doesn\u2019t fully buy into love languages and feels as suspicious of a man talking about them as one who uses therapy-speak or inquires about her star sign. \u201cTo me, when a guy brings up love languages in that way, it\u2019s a sign that someone cooked here,\u201d she says.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span>Sisley\u2019s male suitors, who, for the record, almost always name physical touch as their love language, are not alone in their wielding of the phrase. The five love languages \u2013 which refer to words of affirmation, quality time, physical touch, acts of service and receiving gifts \u2013\u00a0 have remained popular since they were conceptualised by Gary Chapman. In 1992, the Christian pastor, who came up with them based on trends he noticed in the couples he counselled at his church, turned his observations into <\/span><em><span>The Five Love Languages: The Secret to Love that Lasts<\/span><\/em><span>. The bestseller argued that everyone has a different way of receiving and expressing love, and that understanding your partner\u2019s specific way is the key to a successful relationship.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span>To say that love languages have resonated with people would be an understatement. Since its release, Chapman\u2019s book has sold millions of copies, and decades later, \u201clove languages\u201d have become deeply embedded in our cultural lexicon. Today, they\u2019ve even taken on a life of their own, with people often going beyond the original five, and claiming everything from <a href=\"https:\/\/www.tiktok.com\/@adriakka.spam\/video\/7604937596963245325?q=my%20love%20language%20is%20playlists&amp;t=1770996778563\">creating playlists<\/a> to <a href=\"https:\/\/www.tiktok.com\/@theelliebarker\/video\/7597236633376689463?q=specific%20love%20language&amp;t=1770996844003\">being bored together<\/a> as a love language. Recently on TikTok, some young people have taken to sharing hyperspecific love languages of their own. While dating in 2026 couldn\u2019t feel more different from dating in 1992, it\u2019s clear that the notion still carries weight. So, why have love languages withstood the test of time?<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<div class=\"embed-content\" data-embed-type=\"media-tiktok\" data-id=\"7596110325917682975\">\n<\/div>\n<div class=\"embed-content\" data-embed-type=\"raw-html\">\n<p><span>Though in modern dating, it\u2019s not uncommon to discuss love languages on a first date, much of the framework\u2019s initial purpose and appeal was to help couples, especially married ones, who were already at their brink. Problems in your relationship didn\u2019t have to mean that you were fundamentally incompatible; they just meant that you and your partner showed love differently, AKA spoke different \u201clanguages\u201d, and if you could only learn each other\u2019s, you might be able to see one another more clearly. It\u2019s a relatively straightforward idea that, while not a psychological concept in the way that something like attachment styles are, is still used by mental health professionals today.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span>Lisa Chen, a psychotherapist based in California, for example, says she often utilises love languages in couples therapy, and that it\u2019s something she addresses at the start of her work with a couple. In fact, the relationship expert even assigns couples love language \u201chomework\u201d, asking them to explicitly state their own, and then practice expressing their partner\u2019s love language several times a week. \u201cThere are a lot of people that come in already understanding their love language,\u201d says Chen, who credits people\u2019s pre-existing literacy around love languages as a reason for their usefulness in therapy. \u201cIt\u2019s such a relatable and easy concept to grasp.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n<blockquote>\n<p><span>\u201cSelf-perception is difficult these days, and understanding how you present to everyone else is even harder. I think these systems provide a way to funnel all that information \u2013 a sense of stability or a way to define yourself\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<p><span>Over the years, the couples therapy tool evolved beyond its original use case. Love languages appear in popular music, like in <a href=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=MY8K95oaexQ\">Ariana Grande\u2019s 2020 song<\/a> of the same name. They appear on dating apps, like on Hinge, where they\u2019ve shown up as a prompt <a href=\"https:\/\/www.reddit.com\/r\/hingeapp\/comments\/pkdh4f\/whats_up_with_this\/#:~:text=There%20are%205%20love%20languages.%20That%20means,possible%20answers%20for%20people%20who%20list%202.\">as early as 2021<\/a>. They appear in winning college essays, like in Layla Kinjawi Faraj\u2019s <a href=\"https:\/\/www.nytimes.com\/2022\/05\/06\/style\/modern-love-college-essay-winner-syrian-war-whatsapp-group-chat.html\">2022 essay<\/a>, which named \u201cWhatsApp intimacy\u201d as a love language during times of war. Gradually, the phrase has expanded beyond the original five, too. Even love language sceptic Sisley, for example, names photography as a non-traditional love language of her own, citing the act of documenting and being documented as a way she experiences love.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span>Declarations of one\u2019s own love languages often appear on social media, especially on TikTok. There, sharing one\u2019s niche love language, usually typed out in <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.tiktok.com\/@fartskibibidi\/video\/7596007316391054622?q=love%20language&amp;t=1771344909110\"><span>yellow font<\/span><\/a><span>, of course, has become yet another way to show vulnerability and lay one\u2019s self bare on the app. While love languages have long been meme-ified, this current brand of online love language discourse has none of the forced quirkiness of its predecessors, like tweets that <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/uk.pinterest.com\/pin\/121104677468497490\/\"><span>named napping<\/span><\/a><span> as love language. Irony, it seems, is out, and earnestness is in.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span>Love languages are no longer just for couples, too. For people like Fabi Suarez, a 24-year-old living in New York City, they are a way to understand platonic relationships. Suarez, who admits she definitely buys into love languages, says that feeling considered is what she looks for both in a friend and in a partner, and that it\u2019s her female friendships that have taught her this the most. If she saw her former roommate\u2019s favourite candy at the store, for example, she would automatically buy a bag and leave it on her desk. \u201cThat\u2019s my way of saying, \u2018Hey, love you,\u2019 because I know I\u2019m not always the best with words of affirmation,\u201d she says. (Over time, her roommate picked up on Suarez\u2019s love language and started doing similarly considerate gestures for her.)<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<div class=\"embed-content\" data-embed-type=\"media-tiktok\" data-id=\"7596007316391054622\">\n<\/div>\n<div class=\"embed-content\" data-embed-type=\"raw-html\">\n<p><span>There\u2019s clearly a comfort that can be found in self-categorisation. Suarez compares love languages to taking a BuzzFeed quiz, in that it\u2019s comforting to know where you fit in the puzzle. \u201cSelf-perception is difficult these days, and understanding how you present to everyone else is even harder,\u201d she says. \u201cI think these systems provide a way to funnel all that information \u2013 a sense of stability or a way to define yourself.\u201d When understanding life and love feels nearly impossible, labels like love languages, attachment styles, astrological signs, and so on, can provide vernacular that helps us make sense of it all.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span>The expansion of what a love language can mean is ultimately a good thing, considering that the limitations of only having five have long been one of their main critiques. <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.instagram.com\/prestonrack\/\"><span>Preston Rakovsky<\/span><\/a><span>, for example, a 25-year-old who\u2019s somewhat of a nerd about love, is one of those critics. The software engineer turned content creator\u2019s preoccupation with the subject started three years ago, when he would go to parks with a sign that read, \u201cI\u2019m bored. Let me ask you vulnerable questions.\u201d Eventually, Rakovsky\u2019s projects became widely-viewed dialogues on social media.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span>\u201cAs someone who talks to people about this every day, I couldn\u2019t disagree with them more,\u201d says Rakovsky of the five love languages, which he considers too broad and loosely defined. Love languages are often brought up in his interviews, but in a <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.tiktok.com\/@prestonrack\/photo\/7581667981315345677\"><span>more nuanced context<\/span><\/a><span>. After all, there are far more than five ways to give and receive love. \u201cIntimacy for me is about curiosity, but I\u2019ve talked to people where their \u2018language\u2019 is playfulness \u2013 they need to be silly to feel safe,\u201d says Rakovsky. \u201cIt blows my mind how diverse those needs are.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span>No matter what one\u2019s opinions on love languages are, the decades-old concept clearly represents a timeless craving: recognition. And perhaps the act of simply getting people talking about love is a win. Even Rakovsky, a love language hater, recognises that wanting to feel understood is most people\u2019s ultimate craving. \u201cI think we\u2019re all just looking for proof that we are seen,\u201d he says. <\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<div id=\"newsletter-inline-last\">\n<div class=\"newsletter-small\">\n<div class=\"inner\">\n<h1 class=\"newsletter-title\">Escape the algorithm! Get The Drop<\/h1>\n<div class=\"meta-row\">\n<p class=\"meta\">Get must-see stories direct to your inbox every weekday.<\/p>\n<p class=\"paragraph\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.dazeddigital.com\/privacy-policy\" class=\"meta-link\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"><br \/>\nPrivacy policy<br \/>\n<\/a><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<div class=\"confirmation\" aria-live=\"polite\">\n<p class=\"confirmation-title\">Thank you. You have been subscribed<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/www.dazeddigital.com\/privacy-policy\" class=\"meta-link\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"><br \/>\nPrivacy policy<br \/>\n<\/a><\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<p>[analyse_source url=&#8221;https:\/\/www.dazeddigital.com\/life-culture\/article\/69670\/1\/why-are-we-still-so-obsessed-with-love-languages&#8221;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>[analyse_image type=&#8221;featured&#8221; src=&#8221;https:\/\/images-prod.dazeddigital.com\/1200\/0-0-1600-1066\/azure\/dazed-prod\/1430\/7\/1437844.jpeg&#8221;] Heated Rivalry (2025) February\u00a0 18,\u00a0 2026 Life &amp; Culture \/ Feature Life &amp; Culture \/ Feature Why are we still so obsessed with love languages? Decades after its conception, the ever-popular relationship framework and couples therapy tool has taken on a hyper-specific life of its own February\u00a0 18,\u00a0 2026 February\u00a0 18,\u00a0 2026 [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[2],"tags":[226,76],"class_list":["post-1777853","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-politics","tag-crawlmanager","tag-dazeddigital-com"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/analyse.optim.biz\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1777853","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/analyse.optim.biz\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/analyse.optim.biz\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/analyse.optim.biz\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/analyse.optim.biz\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1777853"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/analyse.optim.biz\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1777853\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/analyse.optim.biz\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1777853"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/analyse.optim.biz\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1777853"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/analyse.optim.biz\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1777853"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}