{"id":1758169,"date":"2026-02-06T00:00:00","date_gmt":"2026-02-05T21:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/analyse.optim.biz\/?p=1758169"},"modified":"2026-02-06T00:00:00","modified_gmt":"2026-02-05T21:00:00","slug":"petrol-way-more-watery-than-i-expected-reports-confused-motorist","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/analyse.optim.biz\/?p=1758169","title":{"rendered":"Petrol \u2018way more watery than I expected\u2019, reports confused motorist"},"content":{"rendered":"
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Here\u2019s TopGear.com\u2019s roving correspondent, Cory Spondent, with his mostly incorrect exclusives from the world of motoring<\/em><\/p>\n

A British driver\u2019s worldview was shattered this week after discovering petrol to be considerably less viscous than he\u2019d always imagined.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

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\u201cI didn\u2019t expect it to be this\u2026 sloshy,\u201d announced Talbot Solara, 29, speaking from the forecourt of his local supermarket filling station. \u201cHow can something so explodey be so damp?\u201d<\/p>\n

Brandishing a small beaker of regular E10 petrol like Erin Brockovich or something, Mr Solara admitted he\u2019d always believed petrol to be \u201cthicker, somehow. More substantial. Like Ribena. Or Toilet Duck”.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

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Solara claims he\u2019d expected the popular hydrocarbon-based fuelstuff to have \u2018more body to it\u2019, given its price point and combustive capabilities.<\/p>\n

\u201cOne pound forty a litre for that? It just feels cheap,\u201d he mused, contemplatively swirling the car-juice around his beaker as one might a fine wine. \u201cLike they\u2019ve watered it down.\u201d<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

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When informed that petrol’s low viscosity is essential for efficient combustion, Solara dismissed the explanation as \u201cexactly what you\u2019d expect Big Oil to say”.<\/p>\n

Solara also expressed disappointment at petrol’s pale-yellow appearance.<\/p>\n

\u201cI thought it’d be proper black, like in cartoons,\u201d he continued. \u201cOr at least a nice deep red, like cherry Tango. Look at it! Insipid. I\u2019ve had chamomile teas with more chromatic intensity.\u201d<\/p>\n

Solara suggested he was considering switching to diesel, which, he imagined, \u201clooks darker, oilier, like something you can stand up a spoon in”.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

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Upon learning diesel is also relatively thin, Solara posited fuel companies should investigate cornstarch as a potential thickening solution. \u201cIf it\u2019s good enough for gravy,\u201d he suggested, \u201cit\u2019s good enough for internal combustion.\u201d<\/p>\n

While remaining dissatisfied by petrol’s watery consistency, Solara expressed no concerns whatsoever about the underlying principle of filling a metal box with explosive liquid and setting fire to it several thousand times a minute.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Here\u2019s TopGear.com\u2019s roving correspondent, Cory Spondent, with his mostly incorrect exclusives from the world of motoring A British driver\u2019s worldview was shattered this week after discovering petrol to be considerably less viscous than he\u2019d always imagined. \u201cI didn\u2019t expect it to be this\u2026 sloshy,\u201d announced Talbot Solara, 29, speaking from the forecourt of his local […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[226,237],"class_list":["post-1758169","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-crawlmanager","tag-topgear-com"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/analyse.optim.biz\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1758169","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/analyse.optim.biz\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/analyse.optim.biz\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/analyse.optim.biz\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/analyse.optim.biz\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1758169"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/analyse.optim.biz\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1758169\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/analyse.optim.biz\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1758169"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/analyse.optim.biz\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1758169"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/analyse.optim.biz\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1758169"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}