{"id":1435527,"date":"2026-01-23T00:14:17","date_gmt":"2026-01-22T21:14:17","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/analyse.optim.biz\/?p=1435527"},"modified":"2026-01-23T00:14:17","modified_gmt":"2026-01-22T21:14:17","slug":"can-blake-lively-and-taylor-swifts-texts-cure-my-conflict-avoidance","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/analyse.optim.biz\/?p=1435527","title":{"rendered":"Can Blake Lively and Taylor Swift\u2019s Texts Cure My Conflict Avoidance?"},"content":{"rendered":"
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Opinion<\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n

Can Blake Lively and Taylor Swift\u2019s Texts Cure My Conflict Avoidance?<\/h1>\n
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By <\/span>Anna Cafolla<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/div>\n

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Photo: Getty Images<\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/header>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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Weeks into 2026, at a time of reflection and trudge, I did not think reading Blake Lively and Taylor Swift\u2019s texts from an unsealed court deposition would spark anything but more feelings of tedium. Lively\u2019s protracted battle with her It Ends With Us<\/em> director and costar Justin Baldoni has felt so grim and exposing and dark\u2014not something the public needs to be privy to, memeing, or raging about on X. But somehow, a back and forth about the rift that grew between the celebrity friends has given me pause.<\/p>\n

I like a little conflict. I have been vocal about my tepid feelings about Heated Rivalry<\/em>. I would beg Claudia Winkleman to make me a traitor. There are dozens, if not hundreds, of now-deleted tweets circa 2016 in which I argued with accounts that had eggs as avatars about Irish politics and whether hyperpop was a serious genre. Is a man bothering you at a bar? Whether we\u2019ve met or not, I\u2019ll be your greatest defender.<\/p>\n

But when it comes to a cresting wave of changing friendship dynamics, I am a boat without a paddle. Conflict, or even just an off<\/em> vibe with friends, is not something I\u2019ve ever handled well, even now in my 30s. I fear blowing up a friendship forever if I\u2019m honest about certain feelings, despite having faith in my friends being caring and capable of levity and nuance and some gallows humor. I know that catastrophizing is my default setting. I also know that conflict\u2014if parsed correctly\u2014is healthy; I\u2019ve read and raved enough about Sarah Schulman\u2019s Conflict Is Not Abuse.<\/em> But sending a text about a cold shoulder, or receiving one that starts, \u201cHi. Recently I\u2019ve felt like you\u2014\u201d will send my phone into orbit.<\/p>\n

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Read More<\/div>\n

I Asked Four Former Friends Why We Stopped Speaking. Here\u2019s What I Learned<\/span><\/p>\n

By <\/span>Kui Mwai<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n

\"Women<\/div>\n

This week, documents released amid the ongoing legal battle between Lively and Baldoni included a series of texts between Lively and Swift. Back in June 2025, Baldoni\u2019s team withdrew their bid to subpoena Swift, and instead successfully petitioned for access to said text exchanges.<\/p>\n

Blake Lively and Taylor Swift were last spotted together in October 2024, when they went out to dinner with their partners Ryan Reynolds and Travis Kelce. Their absence from each other\u2019s (public) lives since has been notable: no more G.N.O.s to Chez Margaux or joint appearances at Kelce\u2019s Chiefs games, and no vocal acknowledgement of the trial from Swift\u2014not that you\u2019d expect that from the global superstar, who so militantly controls her image. For months there had been rumors that the women had fallen out, \u201cdrifted.\u201d Texts from December 2024 speak directly to the impact the It Ends With Us<\/em> imbroglio had on their friendship.<\/p>\n

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Photo: Getty Images<\/span><\/div>\n<\/figure>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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\u201cIs everything ok?\u201d Lively allegedly asked Swift near the end of Swift\u2019s Eras Tour, before Lively had filed her lawsuit. \u201cI felt like a bad friend lately because I was such a sad sack who only talked about my own shit for months. You were generous to not only be the key person there for me during all of it, but also to let me off the hook for being so in it. But I still have a feeling something may not be right.\u201d<\/p>\n

Lively continued: \u201cI always want the opportunity to be a better friend if there\u2019s something I unintentionally did. I know how busy and taxed you are\u2014physically, emotionally, practically, so I don\u2019t expect any more from you ever.\u201d<\/p>\n

The court documents show that Swift responded one hour later: \u201cYou\u2019re not wrong, but it\u2019s also not a big deal. I think I\u2019m just exhausted in every avenue of my life and in recent months had been feeling a little bit of a shift in the way you talk to me. Yes there has been a lot of Justin stuff but I\u2019ve been through things like this before and I know how all consuming it is. It\u2019s more like… and I feel really bad saying anything about this because your texts have been so nice in their intent but your last few… it\u2019s felt like I was reading a mass corporate email sent to 200 employees.<\/p>\n

\u201cAnd it feels awful to be in any way critical of any way you process what you\u2019ve been going through but I just kinda miss my funny, dark, normal-speaking friend who talks to me as herself,\u201d Swift went on. \u201cAnd I know you feel attacked from all sides for ridiculous reasons so you\u2019re feeling like you have to overly explain things… but. It\u2019s me! That\u2019s just caused a little distance. And you don\u2019t need to apologize. Just come back please.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ve been texting like I\u2019m writing,\u201d Lively admits, quickly and directly addressing the part she\u2019s played in the strain. \u201cNot like me talking. I didn\u2019t realize that until you pointed it out, but I see it. On top of that, I\u2019m over packaging simple things bc I\u2019ve felt so deeply misunderstood that I don\u2019t trust my judgement of myself anymore… This fucking guy and what he did to me gave me an identity crisis. Legitimately. The thing that spooked me most in all this though, wasn\u2019t the bad guys being bad guys. It was the good guys, my lifelong friends\u2014allies to women\u2014who quietly dipped. And so I\u2019m probably being over the top with my friends who stayed because I\u2019ve never felt more alone.\u201d<\/p>\n

It\u2019s clear that both Lively and Swift are being careful not to hurt or upset each other, while also acknowledging the rift is a real, tangible thing. They don\u2019t shy away from the awkwardness, but they don\u2019t react defensively, either, and each one nods to the broader context shaping the situation. Swift is open about the fact that she\u2019s pulled back and gently explains her reasons, and Lively, in turn, acknowledges the change in her own behavior. There\u2019s room for Swift to express how much she misses their friendship, just as there\u2019s space for Lively to reflect on the friendships she\u2019s already had to let go. Set against the gnarly court case that would soon play out, it\u2019s an exchange that feels all the more potent.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n

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Naming feelings is something that I\u2019ve long struggled with; in the past it\u2019s dovetailed into either letting emotions morph to outsize and absurd proportions or just ghosting, making the outcome much worse than if I\u2019d faced the problem head-on. We don\u2019t know where Lively and Swift stand today, but without getting too earnest, there\u2019s a level of clearly articulated, open-hearted communication here that I\u2019ll continue to strive for. As I write this, there\u2019s a text I need to reply to; I think the draft is getting one more edit.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/article>\n

Source URL: http:\/\/vogue.com\/article\/blake-lively-and-taylor-swift-texts-it-ends-with-us-friendship-conflict<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Opinion Can Blake Lively and Taylor Swift\u2019s Texts Cure My Conflict Avoidance? By Anna Cafolla January 22, 2026 Photo: Getty Images Weeks into 2026, at a time of reflection and trudge, I did not think reading Blake Lively and Taylor Swift\u2019s texts from an unsealed court deposition would spark anything but more feelings of tedium. […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[2],"tags":[50],"class_list":["post-1435527","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-politics","tag-vogue-com"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/analyse.optim.biz\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1435527","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/analyse.optim.biz\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/analyse.optim.biz\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/analyse.optim.biz\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/analyse.optim.biz\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1435527"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/analyse.optim.biz\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1435527\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/analyse.optim.biz\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1435527"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/analyse.optim.biz\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1435527"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/analyse.optim.biz\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1435527"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}